The Opposite of Progress

Fan Fiction

2010-08-25T17:19:00.003-04:00

For a second I was thinking about putting a post together called fan fiction (see above) but it would be Fan Fiction about fans (you know, the type you use in the summer to keep cool? What, you have air conditioning? Well aren't you a fancy bastard.) and what they do in the winter when they aren't being used. But I figured that would be far too cheesy, and I couldn't come up with a good ending for the the story. Also, it's a dumb idea.

Instead I give you two short shorts I wrote in college. I recently edited one down from 350-ish words to only 200 words. The other one stands as is. They aren't brilliant or anything, but right now they are my favorite things I've ever written, and the only pieces I've been consistently proud of since their inception. So I give you my short CORRESPONDENCE, and THE WOULD BE ANGEL

The fight ended when Pa came out to dance. The sheep were the first to join, with their bleating and lack of any rhythm. Then the cows partnered up. It seemed silly at first, them on two legs with their udders flapping for the world to see as they danced the jitterbug in their pens. The chickens, arguably the best dancers, even better than Pa, started to swing with the roosters on the loft in the barn over the hay.
The goats wouldn’t dance, beneath their dignity I guess.
The ducks danced ballet and their pirouettes were the finest I’d ever seen.
Just as the pigs brought out their breakdancing mats, Ma came out of the house and smacked Pa on the back of his head.
“Don’t you get the animals riled up again, remember what happened to your horses.” She said.
Pa lowered his head and walked back into the house, caressed lovingly by Ma. The animals stopped dancing, only the goats seemed satisfied.
The fight was all drained out of us as we remember what happened to the horses. Last we heard they were performing on Broadway but we aren’t sure cause they don’t send us postcards anymore.

And:

An Angel decided to see what it was like being a man so it grew a penis and went to Earth.

“Hey, look at that funny looking angel.” A little boy said to his sister.

“I’m not an angel, I’m a man, look at my penis.” The Angel retorted.

“No you aren’t.” The sister said. “Men don’t walk around naked.” So quickly the angel put on some pants.

“See, I’m a man.” The Angel said now dressed.

“No you aren’t. Men don’t have wings.” The brother said.

“Oh.” So the Angel took off it’s wings and placed them on the ground. Quickly the brother and sister each took a wing held hands and started to fly.

“Hey! Where are you going with my wings?” The Angel asked.

“Your wings? They can’t be your wings.” The airborne couple replied.

“Why not?” The Angel asked angrily.

“Because men don’t have wings.” The siblings said as they flew up to heaven.

“I guess not.” The man admitted as he watched the two children grow smaller in the distance.

the internet is a weird weird place

2010-07-27T13:32:00.003-04:00

Basically I blame Reddit, and places like it.

A whole lot of strange

Please don't watch this at work, because I'd hate for you to get fired. No nudity, but pretty darn close.

Completely safe for work, though equally oddly mesmerizing.

And finally I give you the epitome of awesome:

I should be doing work.

little bits of minor awesome

2010-04-19T22:05:00.003-04:00

Met the big boss at Tribeca, the one who isn't Bob. Her assistants were out and I was working out of their office today. She asked my name and when she found it was hebrew we spoke briefly about both our abilities to understand the language better than we speak. She tried saying "I can understand but I can't speak" in Hebrew, but as it is a gender specific language even though she got the words right generally speaking, she conjugated them completely incorrectly. I was too scared to correct her so I let it slide, and smiled at her attempt. But it was a good first impression over all I guess.

Also, I'm going to be getting an industry pass to the Tribeca Film Festival this year, which theoretically means I can get into any event or screening. I say in theory because I'm not really supposed to use it, and as such am still a bit unclear as to why I'm even getting one. Though I'm not complaining at all. It's my first real pass for myself. In the past all the industry passes I got were in someone else's name (ie. my various bosses) that'd I'd borrow when they wanted me to watch a film they couldn't make and write up a report for them about said film. It's gonna be neat having one with my name on it with a picture that says industry. Almost like I'm actually doing what I want for a living, though not quite.

Starting another gig at a smaller production office in the city near penn station. It's just one day a week, but hopefully it will open doors to a job somewhere else, and I need to remember to talk to people at tribeca to become a reader for them official like, and get paid for it, as was suggested to me by the vp of development there. It's not a lot of money, but every little bit helps. Was going to talk to them today but got busy and didn't get around to it. Either next week or after the festival when everything calms down a bit.

I think that's all the little bits of minor awesome I have going on right now. Nothing that special, or even really that awesome, but I have to take what I can get. Beggar's can't be choosers you know.

Don't Shoot the Messenger

2010-02-03T21:46:00.002-05:00

today at work:

Boss Lady: Ami take this briefcase to 420 lexington, call this number, and give it to Dave, who will be waiting in his car.

In my head: that doesn't sound sketchy at all.
at 420 Lex I make the call

Dave: I'm not there, I'm in a black escalade at the corner of 50th and 3rd. Bring the briefcase to me there.

At the corner of 50th and 3rd there is a black escalade with all it's windows tinted completely black and a very obese man (Dave) who looks like he stepped out of an episode of the Sopranos.

Me: Are you Dave?

Dave: Yep, that's for me?

And I hand him the briefcase. A hand reaches from the back and quickly takes the case from Dave. I didn't even know there was anybody in there.

Dave (jokingly): Do I need to sign anything?

Me: Uh.....

In my head: What the hell did I just do? This was legal, right? I can't go to jail. I'm too pretty to be locked up.

My angry thoughts on stupid stuff

2010-01-26T18:35:00.003-05:00

I'm a reader. It's just something I like doing, be it in comic books, magazines, novels, non-fiction, newspapers, or online, I just like reading.

Forever I've been reading online, on gaming sites (because I also like video games) all these people complaining about DRM, and other ways gaming companies "screw" with the players to prevent piracy. Now I don't play games (I refuse to use the word "game" as a verb) on my computer (if I did I'd really never get any work done, best I don't have any computer games, and spend any time gaming on a consul) but all the complaining needs to stop.

You want all these precautionary measures to stop, it's simple, stop stealing the fucking game. Piracy may seem like small potatoes to you, but it's fucking stealing, and there is no way one could morally claim the high ground if you are fucking stealing a product. Now, whether you like it or not, video game companies make their money making and selling video games. I don't care what sort of rational you use, but downloading and playing a game that you didn't pay for, and never intend to pay for, is stealing, and stealing is wrong.

I don't care if you think the prices are too high, or the game is flawed, or that it has DRM or other anti-piracy measures, it's still fucking stealing. If you really wanted to make a statement about the game, don't fucking buy it. If you truly are morally against a gaming company treating their customers like potential thieves, then Don't. Buy. The. Game. It's really that simple. By stealing the game all you do is prove them right, and then the escalation starts.

The gaming company owes you nothing. Just like any other product out there, they are trying to make money. If I don't like Starbucks, or Mcdonalds, or Dunkin' Donuts, I don't steal their food/coffee/snacks, and then complain how much they suck. The reason I don't do this, it's fucking stupid, and STEALING IS WRONG. If you don't like a product don't buy it. Rebellion is starting a boycott. Rebellion is buying the competitor's games. Stealing is just you being a self-righteous prick who wants something for nothing, and then wants to complain about it.

If you pay for a game and the anti-piracy measures actually fucks up the actual game play, you can always ask for your money back. I don't know how customer friendly the gaming companies are to users who actually purchased the game, but if there are customer service issues you just learned a very valuable lesson and shouldn't do business (stealing counts as business) with said gaming company in the future.

And the best way to avoid that whole senario is to read up on the games. There are a million billion websites out there devoted to video games. Doing just a teensy bit of research can save you money as to which games to buy, and time. Any other argument that claims stealing is the answer is fucking retarded.*

PC Gamers, I'm sick of it, grow the fuck up.

*OK, so there is the privacy argument, which basically is arguing that the gaming companies force you to trade some of your privacy rights for their security, and this is actually a good argument. Not as an advocacy for stealing or pirating the game, but rather, why some measures should be changed to protect the customer's privacy, and until they do, a boycott is in order.

Oh happy day

2009-12-24T14:12:00.002-05:00

Good news everybody.

First Charlie is moving back to the grand ol' USA, and only about two hours away from me, which makes the news even greater. She is by far my favorite favorite friend with whom I barely speak. I'm just really bad about keeping up my correspondences.

The second cool thing, I'm updating this blog via my new iPod touch. I wanted to move to the city with a friend but can't really afford to right now, so to console myself I purchased this handy gizmo. Yes, I know such purchases will keep me in queens even longer, but shut up about it- why can't you let me have anything cool? Jerks.

I don't think I'll ever post using this again because now my thumbs kinda hurt and it took way too long. I don't know how kids text all day long. It would drive me nuts.

Signs of the apocalypse

2009-10-29T14:17:00.004-04:00

Sign one: I got a cell phone about a month and a half ago.

Sign two: I joined facebook three days ago.

Sign three: I have a personal trainer for four sessions at the gym I just joined (not one of the signs, I can exercise with out the world coming to an end) and we were supposed to meet today for the second session, but he texted me to cancel till tomorrow. Instead of calling him, so help me, because I didn't really want to talk to him, I texted him back moving the session to monday, since I'm busy all day tomorrow and sunday.

Three things a year a go I thought I'd never do. Things I kinda regret having done (not the gym thing though, I've been meaning to do that for ever).

The four horsemen must not be so far behind.

also, unrelated, I still owe robin a mix cd and the bracelet I bought her in Hong Kong. I sent the CD once and apparently to the wrong address because it came back to me. I was going to do it again, but then didn't. So if Robin (who has since quit blogging) still reads this, I know I owe you these things, they'll come eventually.

Interested in a life of crime?

2009-10-20T11:44:00.002-04:00

I hope not because crime doesn't pay.

Unfortunately, neither does being a comic book writer who can't draw.

I know that nobody really reads this blog anymore, and I barely even update it, but on the off chance that there is someone who reads and knows other people, or someone just stumbles upon this using the Next Blog button on the top of the page, here is a ad I posted on a few webistes searching for an artist. If you are an artist, or know an artist, feel free to drop me a line, or pass this ad (and website) along.

I can't draw to save my life. Literally, if I a gun was put to my head and I was told to draw a straight line I'd have a bullet in the brain before I finished. This would be a shame, for I have a pretty, pretty brain, with pretty, pretty ideas, and a bullet would take that pretty brain, and those pretty ideas, and turn them to mush.

I would like to share my brain, and my ideas, especially those comic book related, but as I said I can't draw. That's where you come in.

If you are an artist who can save multiple lives with your straight lines (also crooked lines, really all your lines, whatever shape they might be in) but would like a bit more direction then I suggest we should, in comic book lingo, have a Team Up.

I have stories in multiple genre's and would also be interested in developing new original ideas.

I would like to come up with something presentable to publishers. This is a no-pay gig, unfortunately, at least not until publication. I know that sucks, and it sucks not being able to pay, but this is something temporary issue which will be offset in the long run. Ownership of the property (whatever we produce) would be split down the middle, and all that entails.

I'm friendly, personable, and am not a zombie, werewolf, vampire, or other creature of the night. If all this seems amenable to you, please contact me and we can see if a collaboration is possible.

if you could see through my eyes

2009-07-28T11:41:00.002-04:00

I'm color blind. It's no big deal really. Or rather it shouldn't be, yet whenever someone finds out that I'm color blind they go on a rampage of asking what everything looks like.
"what color is this?"
"what color is that?"
and so forth.

For the record it's not really that tactful to ask someone who's color blind about colors her or she can't see. Sure you might find it fascinating, but at best you're mildly annoying the person you're asking (because everyone asks the same damn questions), at worst you're making them feel very out of place and/or humiliating them for their disability. Most likely the former and not the latter, as I've yet to really meet any fellow color blind person who was overly sensitive about said disability. The point being, it's annoying as hell so cut it out.

That said, if you really are curious there is a neat website that lets you see the world as if you were color blind. So go here to see the world in a different light and stop bugging me.

That is all.

Nothing is nothing

2009-03-06T14:59:00.005-05:00

So I was getting a little uncomfortable keeping that video at the top of my blog for so long, thus I'm entering a new entry just to knock it away from being the first thing anyone might see.

If you are looking for something interesting to read, feel free to check out a short story I wrote here. Or don't.

And if you are in the mood for something I thought was really clever and had absolutely nothing to do with, check it out

because this is too funny not to post (NSFW)

2009-02-25T00:31:00.003-05:00

I can imagine a very lonely man sitting at home, trying to figure out how to combine his two favorite things. If they figure out how to connect one of these to a PS3, Xbox 360, or heaven help us, a Nintendo Wii, the population of this country will decrease by at least half in by the next generation. But is that really a bad thing?

Israel

2008-12-30T10:11:00.005-05:00

I think that the attack on Gaza right now is horrible. I think the entire situation in the region is fucked beyond belief. Because though I think this is a disproportionate response to Hamas, and the Palestinian people in Gaza, I can't think of a proportionate response, or what that even means in context. As of the end of November 1212 rockets and 1290 mortar bombs were fired into Southern Israel. In an article I read on Sunday in the new york times (which I don't have access to online to reference) 300 rockets were fired into Israel last week alone right after the cease fire ended.

What Israel is doing I think is wrong, but there doesn't seem to be a right thing to do. What is the proportional response to almost 3000 rockets/mortar bombs, fired into one's country over the course of a year? Because what they were doing before didn't seem to be working to get it to stop.

And how does one negotiate with an organization that calls for one's destruction?

None of this is an excuse for Israel, just honest issues that as a Jew, a supporter of Israel, and of Peace, that I struggle with every day.

too much

2008-12-16T10:34:00.003-05:00

I was going to post about my best friends wedding and work my way backwards to my trip to hong kong, and I will, but probably next week.

I just learned that another good friend's, someone else who was a groomsman at the wedding, mother passed away yesterday. It was expected as she was diagnosed with terminal cancer, but it's still very sad. She is survived by her husband, and three grown children.

The funeral is on Thursday from what I've heard and I will be attending. I'm hoping this is the last funeral I'll be attending in a while. Though my great aunt was recently rushed to the hospital with pneumonia. Last I heard she was doing better, but right now I'm trying not to take anything for granted.

There has been a lot of happiness in my life recently, but it's constantly being tempered with bad news like this. My thoughts and well wishes go out to my friend, and his family.

No title

2008-12-02T22:34:00.004-05:00

I was going to start posting about my trip to Hong Kong, which was pretty amazing, but I can't get my camera to connect to my computer, thus I can't post any pictures. Once I manage to figure out the problem, I shall post all about my trip, pictures and all (even if you aren't interested in seeing them).

But as of right now I've lost a interest in all this. A friend of mine, a few weeks shy of 22, passed away in his sleep last night. His mom walked in and thought he was still asleep, but when she tried to wake him, she realized he had passed on. We don't know the cause of death, though heart disease does run in his family. He was a really great person, a bit loud, and sometimes annoying, but had a great big heart, and was one of the funniest guys I've known. He had a problem with drugs and alcohol in the past, but had cleaned up his act and putting his life back together. He was sober for at least 6 months prior to today, and we were all very proud of him. He was finishing up a degree at Queens college and wanted to go to law school after he graduated, and some day run for office. He was a big goofy oaf of a man, and he wanted to do good in the world.

I just saw him yesterday, we worked together at Starbucks. He seemed fine, healthy, and at the top of his game. For lack of a better way of saying this, but it's just sad. I can't get used to writing all this in the past tense. It's all too depressing.

I have a wedding to go to this weekend, I'm the best man. I'm all very hectic emotionally right now, and need time to settle (He would have made fun of me for being all girly with emotions).

So I might not post for a while. Not that I post regularly anyway, but right now it just isn't on my mind.

Take care.

Around the world and back again

2008-11-10T11:58:00.003-05:00

So, I'm far too ~~busy~~ lazy to blog in a regular fashion, which is why it comes out in dribs and drabs.

Obama won as we all know. I voted for him and it was the first time I voted for a winning Presidential candidate. My previous two Presidential voting experiences my candidate lost. I thought maybe my vote was the kiss of death and I contemplated voting for McCain giving him the kiss of death I gave to Gore and Kerry so he would lose. Luckily I didn't have to, as my vote clearly isn't a death knell. Obama won and we are all happy about it. Since everyone and their grandma has already commented on the historic importance of this election I don't think I need to write on it. Suffice to say it's about time we've had our first Hawaiin president. Did you know aside from being the first president from Hawaii, Obama is also the first president who is an undergraduate alum of Columbia University? Two historic firsts in one man, how amazing is that?

Moving on, to even further in the past.

Nashville was fun, and drunk. Very very drunk. I can't remember the last time I drank so much in one weekend (possibly because I was very drunk at the time). One the down side we only went to one authentic honkey tonk country western bar and I would have preferred more, if only to get a more authentic experience that I can't get up in New York. Perhaps being from Atlanta the majority of the folks wanted bars that weren't country or southern-y. It was the only bar we went to with live music and it kicked ass in my humble opinion. I have never loved country music more in my life and probably never will - as I don't care for it that much to begin with - but that evening listening to it live I was enthralled and getting my country on (as the kids say).

I was hoping we would do something interesting in Nashville during the day on saturday, but the day was spent indoors in our hotel drinking bloody mary's watching college football. But c'est la vie. I had fun, but it wasn't my bachelor party and Jason had a blast and that's all that matters.

One highlight, extremely drunk on Friday night, some friends were hungry, and nothing was open save a taco bell drive through. We waited on line sans and automobile, but wouldn't get served since apparently it's unsafe for them to serve people outside of a car. I don't exactly understand how this can be, but no car, no food. Thus my friends hopped in the back of a taxi, already occupied and waiting on line for food, to order. They freaked the girl out in the front seat, but the taxi drive was cool and said it happens all the time. All the time? Really? My buddies paid for all the food, but the girl was freaked out still, and complained that they got the wrong things.

On a side note, apparently all strip clubs in Nashville are byob. It was my first strip club experience and I can tell you I wasn't that impressed. It was a very nice strip club, and though I like breasts as much (or even more) than next guy, to me there is something very unsexy about a woman dancing naked for strangers for money. It just doesn't get me going. I didn't get a lap dance as I know that I'd want to apologize to the stripper the entire time. I don't know what I'd be apologizing for, something along the lines of "I'm sorry we couldn't meet under better circumstances." Or "I'm sorry you are forced to do this to make a living." Or something equally stupid and condescending, as they probably like their job more than I like mine, and make more money than me to boot. I skipped out early with two other guys who didn't care for the club that much either. I don't feel like I missed out on anything as from what I gathered one stripper kept talking about her dog who just had elbow surgery, and kept asking my friend the vetrenarian what she should do (and consequently every one she gave a lap dance to afterwards). Another guy there I heard wound up giving a lecture while getting a lap dance on the importance of keeping good credit, and how to build good credit after having a bad credit rating.

Over all, a very good time, but not what I'd want to do on my bachelor party (if I'm ever to have one).

To the future.

Next Monday around noon I shall be on a plane making my way to Hong Kong. I have an HSBC bank account so I'll actually be able to use my bank card in Hong Kong and not get fined for it (even though it's a British Bank HSBC stands for Hong Kong, Shanghai Banking Corporation). So that's pretty cool. On top of that I'm going to get a prepaid credit card from AAA for travel, so if it get's lost or I get robbed I won't have to worry about anyone getting to my personal finances (I'm not going to be taking my bank card with me everywhere, I'll be leaving it securely with my passport the majority of the time). I still have to buy a camera, a long ass book to read - my flight leaves around noon on Monday and doesn't get to Hong Kong due to crossing the international date line, and a three hour layover in Seoul, until Tuesday at ten-fifty pm.

My pal who lives there said she already planned a lot of fun stuff for us to do, while I got some good advice from another friend of mine who grew up in Hong Kong (albeit the British part - as she is third generation white Hong Kong) of stuff to do and see. I'm going to buy a guide book and look up stuff on my own because I'll have a good deal of time on my own and I want to see as much as I can. It's going to wicked expensive since most of Hong Kong from what I understand is mostly shopping. Maybe I'll get a suit some pants or shirts tailor made for me. Probably not, but who knows.

I think that's it for now. I just got the new Firewater and Fleet Foxes albums. The Firewater album is awesome, and though I wasn't the biggest fan the the Fleet Foxes album it has been growing on me.

The end, probably until I come back from the far east. Have a delicious Thanksgiving for those of you who might celebrate the turkeyiest of holidays. And for those of you who don't well, you should. It's a delicious holiday, even if it's as fictitious as Christmas.

the inconvinence of truth

2008-10-16T10:19:00.003-04:00

I've been absent, here's what you missed:

It's official. I'm going to vacation in Hong Kong in November. I've been on the fence for a bit, but expense be damned. I haven't really traveled and taken more than two days of vacation in over a gazillion years (literally). It's only going to be for a week, but if all goes well it will be a very good week. I shall be staying with a friend who is currently semestering over there, which will cut down on my expenses tremendously. I am quite pleased.

I've never seen a traditional Korean wedding ceremony and I guess I never will. My buddy Koo got married two weeks ago and because mapquest should really be called "the most ass backwards way of getting from point a to point b dot com" we (Natasia and I) got there late and missed the wedding. We arrived just in time for the reception. The food was pretty good (from what I had of it - lots of meat, lots of Korean stuff I was too scared to eat because I didn't know what was in it and I'm a coward) and we were sat with the only other white couple there. On the down side the best man gave the worst toast I have ever heard in my entire life. Things one should never say during a best man toast: "Ladies, I'm single and looking for a sugar mama." followed by "Also I am completely broke so anyone qualifies." A best man toast is not the time to practice your AA material. Don't talk about the hard life you've been having. How you had no one to talk too, how you felt estranged from your best friend, but thanks to Jesus everything is OK now. And most of all, it's a toast. It should be no more than five minutes not nearly a half an hour. I wish I had a time machine so I could talk to this best man and set him straight.

Lots of other travel is coming up, I am going to Nashville Tennessee this weekend for a bachelor party. I will write more on that after the fact.

Last little thought of the day. Who are the idiots out there who are still undecided? The two candidates have been running for over a year now. If you don't know which one you like better that means you haven't read a newspaper, watched a single bit of television, listened to the radio, checked your e-mail, or surfed any part of the internet for over a year. Or, you are incredibly stupid (and probably ugly to boot). Either way, if either one of those two things are true you don't deserve the right to vote. I don't care which candidate you've decided on (well I do care, but that is an all together different rant), but if you claim you don't know the candidates well enough yet, you haven't been fucking paying attention and I hate you. And for all of you undecided who can't make up your mind because even though you think Obama would be better you aren't sure if you can vote for a black man, You are what's wrong with this country and I hate you even more. If you really loved America like you say you do you'd kill yourself for the betterment of the rest of us.

That is all for now.

TTFN

I love sarah silverman

2008-09-25T17:33:00.001-04:00

This is hilarious, especially if you are jewish. Watch it!

The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

The End is Nigh

2008-09-22T12:49:00.002-04:00

Recently all of my dreams seem to have something to do with an apocalypse of some sort. Either a world wide end, or a more personal apocalypse which only affects my family and friends.

Not a pleasant way to spend what should be more restful sleep. I don't usually remember my dreams, but the ones as of late have been quite vivid.

I don't know. It's just putting me off and keeping me on edge during my waking hours. Everything just feels different.

Another vid

2008-09-12T14:28:00.001-04:00

So really I have nothing much to say today, but I found this video and it made me laugh so I figured I'd share. Hooray internets.

Two things

2008-09-10T21:42:00.004-04:00

The first is that the world did not end today. So hooray world! That's one for science and nothing for irrational fears of science and human development. That brings the total score to... well science is still far behind as there are still people who believe that the world is flat. But Science is definitely catching up. So hooray for science as well.

The second things is why is it that a celebrity seems to be able to speak more succinctly as to the problem with Sarah Palin as the vice-presidential nominee than anyone else I've heard so far?

In an infinit universe I cannot confirm or deny anything

2008-09-08T12:31:00.006-04:00

The weekend happened. That can be said for certain. Anything beyond that is anyone's guess.

Things that may or may not have occurred this weekend:

- The universe, inexplicably (as most things in the universe are) imploded and life as we knew it ended, only to explode, expanded and pick things off exactly where it left off, leaving none of us residents of this new universe any the wiser.

- I went to a small music festival to raise money for Food Not Bombs called Feminfest in a clearly condemned buiding.

- A small boy off the coast of Maine realized that he wants to be an train engineer when he grows up. The fact that all trains that survive in the future will be run by robots will be no deterrent to this little boy, as he also realized he wants to be a robot when he grows up.

- I had three cheese tortellini for dinner at my brother's apartment on Friday night and discussed how we would make the next Superman movie if we were able to start from scratch. I'd keep Lex Luthor as the main villain, while he would prefer someone not seen in the movies yet, like Brianiac.

- Bands that played in the music festival in the lower east side Plastiq Passion, She Knows Best, She Eats Planets, Shiragirl, In Deepest Sleep, and Mal Blum.

- The bands in question were mostly punk, and mostly lesbian (throughout the course of my adult life I have had a strange affinity with lesbians, remind me to tell you about it sometime).

- The current President of the United States realized the sort of mess he created, felt really bad about it for a minute, then realized that it was too late to fix his mess, and decided the person who gets the job next can sort it all out. Basically how the previous president felt, and the one previous to that, going all the way back to President Washington - who really did try his best to do the right things.

- I secretly fell in love with the drummer of Plastiq Passion, who was pretty cute (a plus), a drummer (for some reason I'm a sucker for girl drummers), and wore a Superman T-shirt that said SAVE ME on the back (very sexy to a complete dork like me). It is of course not meant to be as I will never see her again, and am pretty sure she's dating the lead singer, who I wasn't positive was a girl, until it was pointed out to me by my only friend at the show (who is one of the trio from She Knows Best - the whole reason I went to the festival in the first place).

- 70 Million Light years away, on a small red-green-ish planet orbiting around a type O blue star, a singular inhabitant figured out how to keep everyone in the entire universe happy, and create a peaceful co-existence for everyone - even people it didn't know. This sudden epiphany drew its attention away from everything else, and didn't see the flight of stairs, which it consequently fell down. The fall snapped its fragile body in two. Since it was not the type of creature that could live in two separate pieces it died, taking the secret of eternal happiness with it to the grave.

- Of the bands I saw, I would recommend (in the order that they played at the show) Plastiq Passion, She Knows Best, and Mal Blum.

More things may or may not have occurred, but if I were to list all every possible occurrence of this past weekend this post will never end.

Happy week to you all.

Basically what I think about politicians

2008-09-04T23:51:00.003-04:00

These are not my thoughts but I agree with them whole heartedly.

From Chapter 28 in Douglas Adams' The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

The major problem - one of the major problems, for there are several - one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.

To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made president should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.

I can't say it better myself, which is why I don't care how exciting a speaker is, or how much any candidate offers change (see both democrat and republican conventions for details) if you want to be president, I just don't trust you. People are definitely a problem.

idea for a story

2008-09-02T01:58:00.002-04:00

Main character starts off as an evil bastard. Comes from a very shakespearian background. Step father killed his actually father to take over the family business (something verging on mob related with out actually going into mafia styled cliche). Main character was abused by his real father, but left with enough dough never to have to work, ever. Thinks he's bad-ass, really just a bit psychotic. Decides to kill his step-father and mother for having his father killed (even though he hated his father, this guy is the kind of fucked up that it doesn't matter).

His plan fails miserably, and he gets shot in the head by his step-father after being tortured for a bit.

He wakes up alive a few days later where ever his body was dumped (swamp, shallow grave, river, whatever). He is completely unharmed, as if he was never shot in the first place.

He tries to go back to his life, but has a new sense of calm that he never had before. he starts taking the time to figure out who he is, what sort of guy he was and who he wants to be. A real soul searching. He is not the same guy he was before he was killed. He meets a girl of course. A girl who he knew back before he died. She was the only one in the local coffeeshop/diner/wherever that he went to regularly that dealt with him. All the other employees hated helping him. She hated it too, but would bear it because she's just a very nice person. He's changed and he apologizes and they start talking. Through the story, though it isn't a love story, she helps him find himself. They don't fall in love. More of a mutual understanding. He helps her with some sort of problem she's having. I don't know. Crazy ex-boyfriend, back payment on student loans, something pretty common to all people, the shit we all have to deal with, only for her multiplied a bit.

His parents wanted to cash in on his small fortune, thinking that he's dead. they discover he's still alive somehow. He starts interacting with them a bit, as if nothing ever happened. Freaking them out. He's torn. Does he want to try and move on with his life or does he want his revenge?

His step-dad attacks, and this takes him back to all the old shit he had to deal with. he can't get in contact with the girl, and decides that he's going back for the step-dad.

epic fight, this time though he wins. His step-dad is at his mercy. He has one final option, kill him, or walk away. He kills him. Shooting his step-father through the head just like he was shot.

He walks away, feeling satisfied, when he feels a trickle of blood down his forhead. he reaches up and discovers that the wound that killed him in the beginning returns just as magically and mysteriously as it left. he falls down dead.

He leaves his money to the girl and this helps her solve whatever big problem she had.

Themes to touch on: the purpose of self-discovery, can someone ever really change, and revenge as not only useless, but detrimental.

Nothing that original, which is why I'm posting it here in this form instead of really trying to write it out. Maybe as a short story. I don't know. Needs a lot of work.

Movies for boys and girls together

2008-08-27T13:32:00.005-04:00

Earlier today I was asked to shred a ton of paper's for Bob's office at Tribeca, and it seemed to be pretty pointless. Basically anything that had his name on it had to be shredded, even if it didn't have his address or phone number. I would have rather recycled it, but I understand the need for privacy in his personal life, and I respect that. One thing though that I thought was a bit superfluous was a copy of the newest draft for Little Fockers (the third in the meet the parents series). I can't imagine that anyone would be dumpster (or recycle) diving for a copy of this script, and as there are so many interns and other low rung people here who have access to the script (myself included, I've already read the script - at least this draft - and I know I'm not the only one), if this was going to get out, it probably would have already (assuming only someone low on the totem pole would leak the script). I think it's just a bit overly cautious of them, but that's just coming from someone who is a big fan of recycling (one can only recycle shredded paper if it's brought to a special drop off point, it doesn't get curbside pick up, and I don't think - though can be wrong - that we do that here). Not really a big deal as it's only about 100 pages, but still, it's the general principle that irks me.

After doing all the shredding I came back to my desk with naught else to do. All the office save one exec is off for an extended labor day weekend (lucky them). Said exec who is here, Hardy Justice, is one of the nicest guys I've ever met or worked for (and has the most kickass real name out of anyone I've ever know, topping one of my brother's friend's named - and I kid you not, his full legal name - Lightning Jay) and he's out at a lunch meeting currently. Thus, after scrolling through the job boards, I tooled around on the interweb and came across this post of movies guys and girls can enjoy together. I was a bit inspired and decided to create my own list of ten movies you can rent, lean back, and enjoy with your boyfreind/girlfreind/wife/husband/or whomever without having to worry if it's a guy flick or a chick flick.

In no particular order:

STARDUST
Synopsis: Nerdy guy from a small town in Victorian England promises a manipulative but beautiful girl he'll bring her a falling star as an engagement gift, and sneaks off to a magical kingdom to retrieve said star only to find the star is a beautiful girl, and must rescue her from an evil witch who wants to eat her heart to stay immortal. Of course said Nerdy guy turns into a heroic and handsome hero, while he falls in love with the star, and she with him.

What appeals to the dudes: Robert De Niro, Claire Danes, Michelle Pfiffer, explosions+magic+adventure=Awesome.
What appeals to the ladies: Beefcake lead, Claire Danes, Michelle Pfiffer, Happy lovey dovey ending.

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN
Synopsis: If you haven't seen this movie already you have been living under a rock. Orlando Bloom must team up with scaliwag pirate Johnny Depp to save his secret love Keira Knightly from evil Zombie Pirates lead by Geoffrey Rush.

What appeals to the dudes: Johnny Depp, Sword fights, zombies, explosions (and Keira Knightly if you're into that sort of girl)
What appeals to the ladies: Johnno Depp, Orlando Bloom, (somewhat) Forbidden Romance+Victorian setting=instant chick appeal.

FIGHT CLUB
Synopsis: An underground flight club turns into a social revolution.

What appeals to the dudes: Intense Violence, scarily relateable psuedophilosophy that makes you feel smart, big explosions at the end.
What appeals to the ladies: Brad Pitt and Edward Norton extremely ripped and often shirtless, Strange yet endearing love story.

AIRPLANE
Synopsis: An average plane flight goes out of control when the passengers and crew all come down with a case of food poisoning. Only one man can save them, a former pilot suffering PTSD after flying rescue missions in Vietnam. Hilarity ensues.

What appeals to the dudes and the ladies: Outright hilariousness spoof. The synopsis sounds bleak but there is nothing not funny about this movie. Leslie Neilson in his first real comedy, and the Zucker Brothers at their best.

DARK CITY
Synopsis: In a city where it's always night an amnesiac must decipher his own identity while eluding the police who want to arrest him for murder. His quest deepens when he discovers the city has a secret far scarier than his own and his search for his life turns into a battle for the minds of every citizen.

What appeals the the dudes: Jennifer Connelly, aliens+super powers+noir detective+special effects=awesomeness.
What appeals the the ladies: Jennifer Connelly, Rufus Sewall (if you're into that sort of guy), touching romance+comment on love knowing no bounds=us putty in your hands.

KUNG FU HUSTLE
Synopsis: A comedy set in 1940's Hong Kong two small time hoodlums try to break into the notorious Axe Gang, but wind up saving the small slum in which they live from the gang and the most deadly martial artist in the world.

What appeals to the kid in all of us: Equally awesome and hilarious Kung Fu fight choreography+over the top cartoon like special effect sequences+endearing story about growth, friendship and community (and throw in a bit of love)=Stephen Chow is cooler than Jackie Chan.

JURASSIC PARK
Synopsis: An archeologist, a paleontologist, a mathematician, and two prepubescent kids, are trapped on an island filled with ferocious Dinosaurs.

What appeals to the dudes: Dinosaurs on the attack (need I say more?)
What appeals the the ladies: One of the few actually intelligent female characters in a leading role ever in an action movie (Laura Dern as the Paleontologist), and a grouchy old man who hates kids learns to love kids (in a healthy way).

JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS
Synopsis: An updated live action version of the classic Archie comic back up characters, who also had their own animated TV show in the 70's.

What appeals to the dudes: Rachel Leigh Cook, and Rosario Dawson (and I guess Tara Reid if you like trashy), mockery of everything that turned MTV from a cool station where you could stay up late watching headbangers ball (if you don't get the reference you make me feel very old) to a 12 year old girls wet dream.
What appeals to the ladies: Empowering gals standing up, taking control, and getting it all on their own terms. Power girl rocker soundtrack.

ALIENS (or if you are the mood for something a bit more esoteric ALIEN, the third one Alien³ is totally just a guy movie and the fourth isn't worth seeing by anyone)
Synopsis: Ripley (as played by Sigourney Weaver) is stuck in outerspace fending off really creepy looking parasitic, and evil aliens (or alien if your just watching the first one), with weird double mouths and acid for blood.

What appeals the the dudes: Balls the wall sci-fi action, humans vs. the scariest looking aliens ever captured on film. (for Alien, suspense so thick not only will she be clinging to your arm, but you'll be clinging to hers).
What appeals the the ladies: Strong female lead kicking ass and taking names, Ripley is the original three dimensional badass female lead who paved the way for the few who followed in what generally is a male dominated field.

OPEN RANGE
Synopsis: Two Free Range Cattle drivers run into trouble with a greedy land Baron in the old west.

What appeals to the dudes: Gun slinging, tough taking cowboys, doing what cowboys do best, drinking, killing, and saving small towns from despotic rich folk and the corrupt local law.
What appeals to the ladies: The fleshed out sensitive side of Kevin Costner as a cowboy and gunhand and the soft, subtle and quietly moving love story between him and Annette Benning.

Five Honorable Mentions (a bit more niche rentals that, though appeal to both men and women, aren't big hollywood movies, thus have a smaller demographic in general):
Rushmore
Samurai Champloo (not a movie but an anime TV series - one complete story told in 26 episodes, get over that it's anime and it holds up very well)
But I'm A Cheerleader
Live From Baghdad
Edward Scissorhands

If anyone has any ideas of their own they'd like to add or refute, (assuming anyone has cared to read all this) I'd love to hear them.

Dear Sucky Starbucks Customers,

2008-08-20T15:48:00.004-04:00

A note of warning, if you are not a sucky Starbucks customer then this letter probably won't apply and you need not read its message to stop sucking. That being said, you very well maybe a sucky customer of a different establishment and might want to take that into consideration before patting yourself on the back. If you are a delightful customer then this clearly doesn't apply to you, and kudos for being delightful, you are an unfortunate rare breed of consumer who should be encouraged. If only all customers were like you the world would be an easier place to live. If you aren't sure where you fall, the chances are you're probably only a little bit sucky, which can be easily rectified. With that warning in mind I shall begin.

Dear Sucky Starbucks Customers,

I'm sure you aren't bad people. You don't rape small animals, you don't torture children, you probably even pay your taxes on time, and those are all things you should be proud of. When it comes to your Coffee shop etiquette, however, you need a lot of work.

The first rule of all shopping: don't order if you don't have any enough money. I know, you are going to make a crack about Starbucks being over priced (and I'll get to that in a moment) but seriously, how hard is it to actually bring your wallet in with you? Not only are you wasting the time of the people behind you, you're wasting your time, and most importantly, my time. I can't give you the drink if you can't pay for it. Do you go to a clothing store with out enough funds and expect them to discount that shirt you really want because you're a dollar short? They'll tell you to put it back on the shelf, or hold it aside until you come back with enough money. Same works for coffee. No money, no coffee.

"I just forgot my wallet in the car. I'll run out and get it." Fine, great, may I recommend checking for your wallet before you walk into the store? You are penalizing the people behind you in, making them wait longer for their drinks, while you run to your car. Here's how it works. You stand in line, you order a drink, I call out the drink to the barista, the barista makes the drink while you pay. If you can't pay, the drink is still made because we assume you have the fucking money. Thus the people behind you, who could have ordered now must wait longer for their drinks because the drink you ordered but can't pay for is wasting their time. So what's a minute or so? Well, people I've found are generally cranky, people in dire need of affine are even crankier, and you're delaying their caffeine fix. I'm sure you can do the math on this one. Also, we aren't going to remake your drink because you're an idiot who can't keep track of your wallet. Your drink will be sitting out for you until you come and pay for it, meaning it will be cold (or warm if it is supposed to be cold) when you finally get it. And is that really what you want? No it is not.

Yes, Starbucks lingo is pretty stupid sounding. I know it's difficult to remember the name of the decaf, double tall, no foam, extra vanilla, breve caramel macchiatto that you love. But guess what, you don't have to remember all that. All you have to do is tell the person working the register what you want in your drink. If you want three shots extra of espresso, just say, "with three extra shots of espresso" and we'll do it for you. If you want half and half just say so. You don't have to speak in Starbucks-ese. Those of us who work behind the counter call it out in a certain Starbucks way because it actually makes the job easier. I say "double tall, breve, no foam latte" to the person making the drink because it's easier and quicker than saying, a tall latte with two shots of espresso and half and half with no foam. Just like diners have their own lingo, so do we. A Tall is a small, Grande is a medium, and Venti is a large. If you can't remember that (and no one is asking you to) just say small, medium, or large. We understand English. Most of us working don't really care what you say. For the love of god, people, jokes made about the names of the sizes or how we call out drinks stopped being funny in the early ninties. You aren't being clever, just annoying and derivative. Get over yourself. If you want to engage me in conversation that's cool. Management would like nothing less than a personal connection with each customer. But I can only hear the same comment so many times before I want to kill you. Talk about something more interesting, like the weather, or the Olympics, or even the Yankees (though I would prefer the Red Sox). You aren't funny, just fifteen years behind the times. Move on.

I'm only going to say this once, I have no control over the prices of any of the food or beverages we sell. Complaining to me will not get the prices to change. Telling me "well, this is why Starbucks is doing so poorly right now." Or "Coffee shouldn't be this expensive." Won't make me sympathetic to you. In fact every time I hear that (which is far too often) I have to resist the urge of spitting in your drink.

What you are paying for when you shop at Starbucks: A livelyhood for coffee farmers. It shouldn't be a shock to learn that just like every other independent farmer coffee growers are regularly screwed by everyone else. In fact the price of coffee beans is so undervalued that farmers barely survive on their coffee, if they can survive at all.

Starbucks is far from perfect in regards to the treatment of their growers, however, compared to almost every other multinational coffee company, They are practically saints. Because it's comparative that isn't really saying much, and more should be done, but that would make the price of coffee get even higher, and I know you'd hate that, no matter how many people it will help.

Another thing you're paying for when you shop at Starbucks: My health insurance. Unlike many other fast food companies (and that's really what Starbucks is turning into) they actually treat their employees well. As long as I continue to work at least 20 hours a week I get health insurance, vision, and dental. I also get stock options, and paid vacation hours. I am treated very well by my employers. In fact I think Starbucks should be the template for all other fast food places when it comes to treatment of employees. I lived for two whole years without insurance and believe me, it is not fun at all. If you think that complaining about the price (ie, the fact that Starbucks cares for its employees well being) is somehow going to endear me to you, well you're a fucking moron. If you are such a miserable bastard that thinks just because I work in food service means I should be treated like shit then fuck you. How about I go to your office and complain that you get paid too much to your face and that you don't deserve health benefits because it's mildly inconvenient to me? I'm sure that would make us the best of friends.

If you really think that Starbucks is over priced, I have a simple solution, don't go there. There are other places for coffee. Dunkin' Donuts, Tim Horton's, McDonalds, Burger King, Krispe Kreme, every side of the road and greasy spoon diner, and every 7-11 and every other convenience store known to man all sell coffee cheaper than Starbucks. If you really don't want to pay Starbucks prices you have plenty of options. So stop your damn complaining no one if forcing you to come here.

You are welcome to use our bathroom, even if you don't purchase anything. I'm a human being, I too use the bathroom. It's OK. What isn't OK: peeing or shitting all over the floor. The toilet exists for a reason, use it. After you wash your hands put the used paper towels in the garbage. This really isn't brain surgery. It's right next to the sink. Use it! Speaking of the garbage, if you are going to shoot up in there - fine I could care less - just don't throw the needles away in our garbage. That's an accident waiting to happen. I don't want to get what ever disease you might have getting stabbed through a garbage bag by your syringe because you are an inconsiderate junkie. This goes to the diabetics as well. Please discard your syringe safely. Lastly, and I can't stress this point enough, FLUSH THE FUCKING TOILET WHEN YOU ARE DONE. I don't think I need to explain this last one.

There is more, but those are the key points and this letter is long enough already. Please try and stop being so sucky.

Thank you.

Love,
Amichai

P.S. to you fellow employees of Starbucks, if a customer asks for a small, don't correct them. If they really have that hard of a time remembering what size is called what, even though based on price on the menu alone and the cups on display it should be obvious, then it's just not worth your time. Don't be a dick about it, OK? Thanks.

Nastia is so nice (worst - and most likely most over used - pun ever!)

2008-08-19T01:33:00.003-04:00

Worked a fifteen hour shift today. Got home at 11 in the PM. Stayed up late to watch the Olympics and then the most recent episode of Madmen (DVRed it - though am not sure if DVRed is the way to Verbificate DVR). Now for some reason I'm blogging in bed (hooray lap top computers) about how tired I am and how much I should go to sleep.

An open letter to all the Starbucks customers who piss me off is definitely forthcoming. Unless something spectacular happens in my life that I must write about it will be the next post.

And sucks for Nastia Luikin, who tied for gold, only to get silver. The system is messed up. That shouldn't stand (and if people can share gold in other sports, why not gymnastics? or am I wrong about the other sports?). Boo to the judges - I'm looking at you australia, but hooray for Nastia for being awesome.

When Fans unite why is it always in hate?

2008-08-15T15:24:00.002-04:00

Just saw The Dark Knight for the second time last night (this time in IMax). It's a good movie. Flat out a good movie. It's broken many, many box office records all over the world showing that I'm clearly not the only one that thinks it's a good movie. Chances are you find a random person on the street and ask them what they think of the movie they'll tell you they liked it (provided they saw it).

So why don't comic book fans like it as much as everyone else?
Exhibit A: Joe Rice at Comic book Resources.

I was going to give an exhibit B but it was the New Yorker magazine guy, and he hates movies. I don't know why they even have him review for them.

I know that Comic book resources doesn't speak for all comic fans, and I'm sure there are plenty of other comic book websites that I don't know about since I don't really care about the websites and future spoilers, and though I like comic books, I don't obsess over them. Given that, and I'd like you to please bear with me, I want to use this as an entry as to why comic book fans will never be happy with any comic book adaptation. Are you ready for it?

Because they thing they can do it better themselves. It's that simple. And 99.9% of them are wrong. They can't do it better. Because even if they somehow get the chance to make a new Batman, Hulk, Spider-man, Superman, or whoever-man movie, there'd be other comic book fans complaining that they got it wrong.

Thus, as a comic book fan myself, I've decided to stop comparing the comic to the movie and vice-versa, and try and judge them as complete separate entities.

When the Watchmen movie comes out I'll try to hold off any judgment until I see it, and not compare it to the Graphic novel on which it is based. Really, I don't want to turn into one of those crazy fans who hate everything, yet spend there money on all the things they claim they hate (and if any body out there who reads this also reads Secret Invasion, Final Crisis, or any major crossover in the Marvel and DC universe, you know what I'm taking about).

oh crap

2008-08-02T23:49:00.002-04:00

I was playing around with a template and accidently chose a new one (wanted to preview, didn't realize what I was doing) and consequently lost all my old links. I had them saved on my computer (I try to back up everything - I lost almost everything on my old computer and now back up like a mad man), but my html isn't strong enough to figure out how to put it back in. So please bear with me (the three people out there who actually bother to read this blog) while I figure out how to fix it.

How sad is it that this is what I'm doing with my Saturday night?

I hate being such a sucker

2008-07-31T11:32:00.004-04:00

I don't know if I'd call myself a gamer. I do enjoy playing the occasional video game. I'll buy games every so often if I've beaten an older game, but usually buy my games used, spending no more than 15 bucks a game). So though I might spend some time (all right I admit, if I find a game I like some time might turn into five hours straight) every so often playing a video game I don't do the whole MMORPG (second and third definitions down are the best) thing.

MMORPG's don't thrill me. I don't generally like talking with strangers on the internet (and I definitely don't like strangers in real life, let alone the internet), I don't like games that continue when I'm not playing, and I don't like playing video games with no definitive ending. I need to beat a game to make it feel like it was worthwhile and that my money was well spent. I play for that pseudo sense of accomplishment. MMORPG's just go on for ever and ever. Not my thing. Not a big enough dork to get into the whole role playing aspect of it. Well maybe I am a big enough dork, but a completely different type of dork.

What type of dork am I? I'm the type that even though I'm not really interested in MMORPG's I'm probably going to sign up and play this:

Behind the Scenes/Making of DC Universe Online

Because who in their right mind wouldn't want to be able to play in an open ended DC comic book universe.

Like I said, I'm a sucker.

hip, hip, and so forth

2008-07-22T11:24:00.003-04:00

Today is my birthday.

Hooray me.

forget all those other things I wanted. What I really want now is one of these:

And here I thought Night At the Museum was just a really crappy Ben Stiller movie. Who knew it was real?

Really, who wouldn't want their own dinosaur?

Funny (even if misspelled - and if you've ever read my posts you surely can't blame him)

2008-07-17T01:12:00.006-04:00

So my brother, along with some of his art school buddies have an art blog that they post on. It's mostly how they keep in touch with each other post college, and help critique each others works in progress. They do occasionally post some interesting stuff about comic book art and animation in general, so feel free to check it out if you desire.

I finally linked it in my list of links (been meaning to for a while). Since this is old stuff I figured I'd repost it here (until he tells me to take it down I guess) because I think it's funny .

He drew and wrote this himself and it makes me laugh every time I read it (and not because he misspelled "Scared").

And for some reason I can't seem to put the picture on this blog so I shall link to it directly. Please read and laugh.

CLICK HERE FOR THE IMAGE

It's been a while

2008-07-10T13:33:00.002-04:00

I've been contemplating eating meat again. I've been a vegetarian for about fifteen years now, and the reasons that I started are a bit less compelling to me now. I've learned a lot about food in general and based on what I've learned I still don't want meat so much. If I were to stop being a vegetarian I'd probably eat meat so infrequently to make it a moot point. It's just I don't know if I really want to take such a strong dogmatic point about it in my life anymore.

For the time being I'm still a vegetarian, I'm just giving the notion a lot more thought than before. Only time will tell I suppose.

If you can read this you need to go outside more often

2008-07-01T13:34:00.002-04:00

1 Ð0n'7 µnÐ3r$74nÐ wh¥ p30p£3 w0µ£Ð 3v3r 7¥p3 £1|{3 7h1$. 17 $33m$ n07 0n£¥ 70 b3 4 w4$73 0ƒ 71m3 4nÐ 7¥p1n9 3n3r9¥, bµ7 4£$0 4 £3$$ (£3v3r w4¥ 70 7r¥ 4nÐ $h0w 07h3r p30p£3 h0w n3rÐ¥ ¥0µ r34££¥ 4r3? H0w Ð1Ð 7h3 wr1773n 3n9£1$h £4n9µ493 $µÐÐ3n£¥ 937 $0 p4$$3?

Brought to you by nerd speak. For more info, check This out.

Don't make me angry, or horny, or make me physically exert myself, you wouldnt like me if I did any of those things

2008-06-13T16:56:00.001-04:00

Just came back from seeing the Hulk, but I've been up since five this morning (no not waiting on line for tickets, I had to open this morning at work). I'm too sleepy right now to write a review, but one will be forthcoming before the weekend is out.

Gimme, gimme, gimme

2008-06-11T11:35:00.003-04:00

My birthday is coming up in just over a month. I shall be 28, and even though the things I want are kinda childish, these are the things I want for my birthday (if anyone out there is so inclined to buy me a present).

Cat and Girl book two signed by Dorothy

A ticket to Hong Kong for the fall (October/November-ish) - round trip of course.

This comic book:
.

A PS3

and the following ridiculous t-shirts:

And this poster, even though I really want it in t-shirt form

That's the short list. There is more of course (who doesn't want more stuff?) but I am tired of looking for images and links up on the interweb. Most other things I want are equally childish

No news is good news?

2008-06-05T01:09:00.002-04:00

lost for lost

2008-05-30T15:51:00.002-04:00

My hand is still killing me, but I'm not so worried about it anymore. It stopped bleeding, and I can type, but I don't think I need a doctor (which i kinda did last night).

Anyway, watched Lost last night and was disappointed, Jin was my favorite character and without him on the show I really don't care to follow the other characters and their stories. Maybe Sayed, but not really enough. Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley have gotten stale to me. I really couldn't care less about them and what happens to them. Locke is insanely annoying, and the other side characters are just mediocre. Jin and Sun had the most interesting storylines to me. Jin just isn't interesting enough without her husband. Unless it's relvealed that he's really alive next season, I'm done with Lost.

Though I must admit if they killed Jack I'd probably start watching again. He's turned into such a whiny bastard. And someone should just walk up to Ben and put a bullet in the back of his head, then nuke the island.

The End.

what it is

2008-05-29T15:22:00.004-04:00

I saw Shakespeare in the Park last night with J_ (she's home for the summer). It was fun, but got a little cold. Of course she didn't bring a sweatshirt so I gave her mine and was a bit too chilly to really follow the second half. I had read the play so it wasn't like I was really missing anything. The performance was alright. I think they played some scenes up for laughs a bit too much instead, making it seem a little too light hearted for a tragedy. But over all I enjoyed it as I had never been to a play in Central Park before.

Now I have to go into work to work a closing shift (until 10:45) and I think I'm going to be working with the two employees who annoy me the most.

Okey dokey, off to the salt mines.

EDIT 11:00 PM: Work was okay, but someone broke a shot glass and i didn't know. Said person cleaned up the broken glass with a bar rag, but forgot to clean out the rag afterwards. Thus later when I saw the bar rag laying in the sink at the end of the night i reached to rinse it out. I squeezed it and a shard of glass jutted from the rag and cut me very deeply in the annoying area right between the index finger and thumb. It hurts like a motherfucker and hasn't stopped bleeding yet (cut occurred a half hour ago). I'm stuck typing with one hand, and am just waiting for my Mom to finish watching the season finale of Lost so I can go down and watch it from the beginning. grahhh my hand fucking hurts.

As my pa Mercedes would say: Kill myself!

Do I really suck that bad?

2008-05-26T19:51:00.002-04:00

I've been converting all my old files from my old computer onto my new one (a bit of an annoying process) going through what I should keep, and what I should just dump. I've come across a few gems and much more than a few really old crappy essays and stories which I promptly dumped. I found more duplicates that I was aware that I had (why did I let them take up the space on my hard drive, who knows?).

In any case this is an opinion article I submitted to a small newspaper in boston that was accepting open submissions. It was rejected, but very nicely encouredging me to try again. I never did because, I don't really know why. The point is, I know it's not even a little bit timely. In fact it's very dated, and it's a bit standard (I totally understand why it didn't it), but it isn't bad. So instead of just dumping it into the trash I figured I'd post it here as a dumping ground, so I can feel like it got used in some way in my life. I did spend some time on it, so why not make use of it. Right?

Anyway, here it is, feel free not to read it.

11/18/2003

As I turned my TV on Tuesday morning, the first sound that echoed from the speaker was a news anchorwoman informing me that gay marriage had just been legalized in the state of Massachusetts.

Like the majority of heterosexuals in this state I was aware that there was a case at the state supreme court in this regard but I also knew that it had been in trial for a few years, and figured that it would be a few years more before anything was actually established.

Well, something was definitely established, and though this ruling realistically affects only a minority of the population, the majority of us will be up in arms, either for or against, even though it does not affect our lives. This is not a law that ensures cleaner drinking water, not a law helping fund our schools, and not a law repealing any tax or tax cut. If this ruling went the other way our lives wouldn’t have changed. Luckily, the supreme court legalized gay marriage, and you know what, us heterosexuals can still get married like before, schools are still underfunded, there’s still toxins in the water, and I haven’t seen a penny of that tax cut. I can barely tell the difference between now and then.

This ruling was a long time coming and is just the next natural progression for a free and civil society. This is the whole “All men are created equal” bit we’ve been hearing about so much since we first studied the Constitution back in grade school. We are either all created equal with the same protection under the law or we’re not. The Massachusetts Supreme Court upheld the belief that we are.

Though this ruling may not affect our lives in the secular world it will be perceived to have an impact on the religious one. I doubt I’m the first to say that the courts decision should in no way affect how marriage is upheld in as a religious ceremony. Whether or not gay marriage is something that should be instituted by the various religious institutions is not up to the state. Likewise, how a legal marriage is defined by the state should not be up to any religious group, or groups. As a religious Jew I don’t know how comfortable I am with a religious gay marriage ceremony. But the fact remains, my religious beliefs in regards to a religious marriage should be completely separate from the state’s definition of a legal marriage.

Unfortunately many people can’t make this sort of distinction. America is a secular country, regardless as to how many Christmas advertisements you might see. And as a secular country it is very important to put the secular needs of the people ahead of any religious dogma.

Hence, in keeping with the upcoming holiday spirit it’s important for us to remember, as Rabbi Hillel once said, “Do not do unto others as you would not want them to do unto you.” This means, for those of you out there who disagree with the courts ruling, you don’t have to go out of your way to embrace the gay community, just allow them to live the same rich full life you yourself wish to live.

-Amichai Greene
11/18/03

So there you go. Who knows what other pointless crap I can find to take up space on this blog?

I should hold onto my thoughts

2008-05-21T21:59:00.003-04:00

So I was thinking about a political entry, only I realized I just put down all my ideas in a comment on Rawbean's blog and putting them up here would be redundant. So I was going to do a food blog instead, talk about the food system in this country, but then I realized I ranted about that not so long ago in a comment on Amber's blog, leaving me with very little to write about now.

So, instead of what could have been well thought out essays on current events you're stuck with my less well thought out rants on those previously mentioned blogs, and a bit of the rest of the random thoughts that are currently floating through my head.

I am getting totally burnt out of working at Starbucks. All my energy is just gone. Like a zombie going through the motions. And it doesn't help that I've been getting mostly closing shifts and that just kills the entire day.

Was invited to an underwear party that I couldn't go to because of my previously mentioned gripe. I probably wouldn't have gone to said party if I was able because I don't so much like people, especially strangers, and I would have known no one at said party save the hostess. And though I wouldn't mind seeing the hostess in her underwear (she's crazy hot and she knows it), I don't know how comfortable I would have been letting everyone else see me in my underwear. But it became a moot point, which is the part that's bothering me.

I liked the Iron Man movie. It was kinda predictable (who is he gonna fight but another big Iron man?) but was fun anyway. Not too keen on Gwenneth Paltrow, liked how they changed Jarvis from a human butler in the comic to a computer ai system in his house. Am interested to see where they go with the Ten Rings terrorist group and how they link it to The Mandarin without seeming racist in the next movies. Also think it's funny that Samuel L Jackson played Nick Fury as Nick Fury in the Ultimate Universe is modeled after Sam Jackson. Weird meta-fiction post-modern stuff going on there.

Can't wait for Indiana Jones. Am a little worried about it though. The previous movies are so good (Well the first and the third ones are) and it's been so long and so much build up that if this one is anything but amazing it's gonna be a disappointment.

Weired out a bit after talking to a co-worker about the batman movies. It turns out that the first michael keaton batman film came out a year before she was born (she's only 18). I remember seeing that in the theater.

Got a new computer a while ago (a macbook pro laptop) and having been having fun using it. Only I don't really need all the applications that it comes with and don't do music or movies, and feel like I should have just bought a regular macbook instead. On the plus side it was about 600 dollars cheaper because I was able to get one on clearance (only 2.2 ghz instead of the newest model which is 2.4) through the NYU computer store using my brothers student discount. I spent what I was planning on spending on a regular macbook, but could have definately saved a lot more money (and I really don't have that much to spare).

Another brother just got engaged. I don't remember if I posted bout this or not, and am too lazy to go back and check. I'm happy and excited for him. I just wish people stopped assuming this would make me unhappy for some reason as he is younger than me (they assumed the same thing when my other brother who just got married about two months ago, who is also younger - I have three younger brothers, I am the eldest). What kind of ass hole do people think I am that I'd be sad because my younger brothers found happiness first? I'm a bit jealous (not that I want to be married, but it'd be nice not to be single) I won't lie about that, but it's not an angry jealous, it's more like a be inspired jealous to make me get off my ass a bit more. And compared to the happy, the jealous is infinitesimal. And I'm psyched for the wedding. The last one was just so much fun.

In the same vein, I wish people would stop asking me when it's going to be my turn to get married. It's like they want to depress me by dredging up my singleness (this goes double for the people that mention J_ in the same sentence, as if talking about my ex who I was crazy, madly, head over heels in love with and who broke up with me, is supposed to somehow make me feel good about myself and my life? Assholes).

I just finished a short story that I'm kinda proud of and want to maybe send it out to literary magazines. But I'm still looking for some readers to give me some feedback. So if you are interested in helping me out, and reading it and letting me know what you think I'd be happy to send it to you. I'm not posting it in my fiction blog because I want to do something with it and that's just for random ideas and work I don't care as much about.

That's it I guess. Thanks for reading

Suckers.

blogs to read

2008-05-18T15:19:00.000-04:00

I started blogging a few years ago and most of the other blogs I read back then are gone now and I've culled them from my links.

So, anyone have some suggestions of blogs you like that you think I should also read?

Random tv series idea

2008-05-14T20:08:00.002-04:00

I've been with sickness for four days and finally, today, after skipping work and spending most of my day watching all 13 episodes of Wonderfalls on DVD (thus renewing my love of Caroline Dhavernas - and I was gonna link to the last time I wrote of her, but the stupid technocrati search sucks and I don't want to go through all my old posts, so you'll just have to deal with IMDB instead).

Anyway, as I was watching a completely unrelated idea popped into my head that I think would work nicely as a tv series.

It's just a sketch as I don't really have any characters, just a basic premise. The format is an hour long drama, but hopefully this one would be a very funny hour dark comedy sort of hour long drama. A preacher, who is better at philosophizing and theological studies than actually connecting one on one with other human beings losses his faith after an accidental fireball blew up his house of worship and killed all of his parishioners. He can't get work at any other house of worship, mostly due to the fact that his last one blew up, so he is forced to work the night shift at a 24 wedding chapel, marrying inebriated couples more in love than he feels he's ever been. His life is going down the drains, disconnecting from the rest of the world, until he starts being haunted by the ghosts of all his dead parishioners, forcing him to engage in the actual world by helping the lost couples in love who stumble into his chapel in the wee hours of the morning.

Of course there would need to be other characters, and a love interest for our preacher, but I haven't come up with that yet. This is just the bud of an idea. It's kinda lame, kinda a rip off of almost all the work of Bryan Fuller, but what can you do?

5 comics that should be movies

2008-05-02T15:43:00.009-04:00

Because I just read Cracked.com's 5 Upcoming Comic book Movies that must be stopped I decided to come up with a reverse list of comic books that probably have no chance of becoming movies, but should be.

In no particular Order:

RESURRECTION MAN

His name is Mitch Shelley and he was created by Andy Lanning, Dan Abnett and Jackson Guice for DC comics.

He isn't a traditional superhero and his power is derived from something a bit more dark and twisted than say more wholesome yet anguished heroes, such as Superman, Spider-man or those in The Fantastic Four. He doesn't have a secret identity persay, more like an absence of an identity all together. His basic plot thread is as such: Mitch Shelley, a mob lawyer in South Carolina who, unwittingly, through his connections is subjected to an experiment in Nanotechnolgy. He is bonded with with nanomachines called Tektites, which result in his death. He is soon resurrected by the tektites lacking any memory of his previous life, and now with near unlimited super-powers. But as always there is a catch, he only has one power at a time, and in order to change from one power to the next he has to die. Once dead the tektites resurrect him, this time with a power that is a direct response to his cause of death. He is in a simultaneous search for his identity and to escape those who experimented on him in the first place. It sounds a bit cheesy, but having a super-hero, who has no desire to be one, and who has to die, usually in a painful manner, in order to survive, can make for compelling storytelling on the screen.

THE SUICIDE SQUAD

The image is a bit more sexist, and pandering than I would have wanted, but I couldn't find a better one at the moment. Sorry. Anyway, this is a pretty simple concept. Take The Dirty Dozen and instead of convicted murders fighting Nazi's, it's imprisoned super villains sent on black ops missions for the government that they don't want the super heroes to get involved in (or know about it). They are mostly suicide type missions, and if any survive then they get extra consideration in their next parole hearing. It's simple, a great set up for lots of killer action sequences (as super villains are generally unstable people), great special effects, a built in fan base of comic fanboys, and could also be (in the right screenwriters hands) a great comment on the overabundance of comic book heroes and the conventions that they are forced to follow.

JAR OF FOOLS

No, this is not a super hero story. Comics don't have to have super heroes in them. In fact I'd say this is one of the best comic books I have ever read. Possibly one of the best works of fiction, period. The New York Book Review wrote that it's "A lovely, short picture novel exploring the tenacious bond between an alcoholic stage magician and his cranky mentor." There is a good deal more going on, but that is a good short summation. It's a story about love, about loss, about familial bonds, and aging. It would make a great film, in the vein of Ghost World or The History of Violence (in regards to non-super hero comic film adaptions).

HITMAN (no not the video game that was already made into a film)

I just realized a trend in my own choices, preferring anti-heroes over standard super hero fare, but still, these are good comics, so leave me alone.

Hitman is akin to Suicide Squad. Tommy Monaghan (pictured above) is a rough and tumble orphan from the poor Irish neighborhood of Gotham (which could easily be NYC) raised by a Hitman for the Irish mob. Said hitman retires and opens a small dive bar out of which Tommy now operates as a hitman in his own right. This being a super-hero comic book, Tommy is not without super-powers. He has x-ray vision, and is a mind reader. He isn't any ordinary Hitman, you only call him for the weird stuff. You need someone to steal a magic rifle forged in the old west to kill a devil, you call Tommy. Local super-hero beating up all your dealers, and selling the drugs himself, you call Tommy. I think you get the picture. He's a rogue, an imp, charming, and posses a devilish sense of humor. What's not to like?

And because I'm not as sexist as most comic books are themselves my final choice:
MAIL ORDER BRIDE

How is a comic called Mail Order Bride not a sexist choice, you may ask. At its heart it is a story about self discovery. I'm spacing on the characters names, but there are two main characters. The lead male role is a very geeky, very awkward, self-absorbed comic shop owner in a small town in western Canada (I think outside Vancouver, but I could just be making that up, could easily be outside Winnipeg which is not western Canada at all) who gets lonely and orders a bride from Korea. She comes over and isn't at all what he expected. Like most many western fetishes of Asia, he expects his bride to be a subservient, docile, and (in the general vein of most manga imported to this country) hyper-sexual Asian wife with a bad Asian accent. She arrives and turns out to be a very smart, shy, well educated Korean woman who signed up for the service because it was the only way she'd ever get out of Korea. The story is more about her and growth as an individual, taking classes at the local annex, making new friends, and coming out of her shell. He on other hand becomes more self-absorbed, needier, and more juvenile, getting more and more aggravated with her growth trying to keep her the pure fetishistic Asian bride he wants her to be. The comic ends on kinda a downer, and if adapted the ending would need to be changed a bit, but over all it's a very strong story of personal growth, female empowerment, loneliness, and cultural clash.

So that's my five comics that should be movies. The fact that they are all mildly obscure (Mail Order Bride being the most obscure) and that three are owned by DC comics, which itself is a subsidiary of Warner Brothers, means that if Warner doesn't think they'd make any money, no one else can do anything with them. The two indies (Jar of Fools, and Mail Order Bride) are two that if I ever get the money to option the rights myself I probably will, but I can't imagine anyone who isn't me going to a a development office and trying to pitch these comics for movies.

But it's fun to dream.

I don't post often

2008-04-22T22:09:00.005-04:00

It's true. I don't. But I find I have less and less to actually post about. I've given up on the lists I was going to write because I realized that after I wrote them they were not only inane, but boring, and why subject any potential reader to that.

In other news, I'm getting a bit into LastFM.com and I have created a short play list I'm trying to figure out how to get on this page. If I figure it out you will be subjected to random songs from artists I'm not too familiar with myself.

The playlist will hopefully change regularly (but given that I'm the one working on it, who knows how regular I'll actually do it). And be filled with new artists I'm discovering. Most likely, since I'm not even a little bit cool or in the know, the artists in question will not be new to you. But they are new to me. Some I'll start off liking and then realize I don't care for them so much, while others might become new favorites. This is me trying to find new music without actually spending money I don't have on albums I wish I knew more about.

(So I kinda cribbed the idea from Rawbean, so what? Just because she has all the good ideas first doesn't mean that she's better than me)*

*(Alright, so she is better than me, so what?)

Week of lists part one

2008-03-13T14:30:00.001-04:00

Following is a a list of the bands I currently have on my mp3 player

The All Girl Summer Fun Band
The Bird and the Bee
The Bad Plus
Death Cab for Cutie
The Decemberists
The Dresden Dolls
Frou Frou
Iron and Wine
Jesca Hoop
Magnetic Fields
Morphine
Nellie Mckay
Neutral Milk Hotel
Ozomotli
OK Go
the Raconteurs
The Ditty Bops
Pirates of the Carribean (1 & 2) Soundtrack
Garden State Soundtrack
Cowboy Bebop Soundtrack
Stars

There might be some more but I can't think of them, and the battery died on my player so I can't look it up. but if you were ever wondering what kind of music I listened to, now you know. And knowing is half the battle. If perhaps you know these bands and would like to recommend new music for me to listen to, I'm all (no pun intended) ears.

I need to learn photoshop (though for other reasons)

2008-03-07T12:55:00.004-05:00

This isn't exactly SFW, but it's not really NSFW (except for the tush, I guess). Anyway, this is funny and fascinating, and I'll only leave the movie up for a few days and then just put up a link for it afterwards.

And because I'm an idiot, my bank troubles quickly subsided when I realized I was trying to use my bank card, which expired this month instead of using the new one the sent me. So all that worry, and it boils down to my stupidity.

anyway, here is the video I mentioned, don't scroll down if you think a naked tush is appropriate for the computer that you are currently using.

I didn't want to do it again but...

2008-03-05T16:30:00.003-05:00

So I really was going to start my week of lists today. Lists of a somewhat personal nature getting a bit more into my head and life than just random lists of links that I find to be interesting.

Unfortunately the machine that sells me my LIRR tickets (that's Long Island Railroad for those of you who don't know) rejected my bank card, and I know I should have at least two grand in my checking account (alright, maybe only fifteen hundred, but still). Thus I've been freaking out about it all day and can't think straight. I'm stuck at work and there isn't a bank location near where I am currently, so I have to wait until I go home to try and figure it out (if I've been robbed or identity thefted, that would truly suck, you'd think that someone would only want to do that to people who actually have money and good credit, not guys like me).

Instead I give you what I think is absolutely fabulous (no, not the tv show). Someone has posted a bunch of old Garfield comic strips, but have removed Garfield and odie, leaving only Jon behind. The strips are actually far more poignant, touching, and funny in this garfieldless version. Talk about post-structrualist post-modernism. Anyway, you should check it out because it's good and funny, and I'm going to sit at this desk and pretend that I'm not freaking out, when in fact I'm so jittery I think my eyes my pop out of my head.

Garfield minus garfield

Why I list links (or hey it's wenesday again)

2008-02-20T16:44:00.001-05:00

So, really, I know very few people actually read this blog. Thus, those few that do might wonder why I, every so often, post random lists of links instead of writing something moderately more interesting. The answer is twofold and pretty simple. First, I'm a pretty boring person and don't usually have something interesting to post. Second, the lists are more for me, to refer back to at a later time, as most have sparks for story ideas. That's why a lot of them are science-y in nature. If I don't compile them somewhere, then I will forget them and good story ideas go down the drain. This is just the easiest forum for me to keep track.

And on that note, more links of interest:

Humans evolving faster and faster

I don't understand it but it deals with the previous link.

Falling from heights and surviving sans parachute.

because I think Space Travel is awesome. It's mind blowing

so there isn't any story here, but this is just crazy. Rooftop tennis to the extreme.

Herbal medicine, wormood is good for the Crohns. (Wormwood is what absinthe is made out of)

Who needs a mongoose when we already have squirrels?

Growing cells into new shapes, this can be useful (for science and for my fiction)

A study as to how visual perceptions skew our mental projections and other scenes (ie we rely heavily on visual cues and create differences even when none exist)

Invisibility cloak, interesting if true.

Why we dream, rehearsals for disasters.

Wild! But maybe they only found white kryptonite

So I can watch this at home because the computer at work has no sound.

Mega64.com - check it out, looks like it could be funny.

Strange strange deaths.

I need to hear this with sound.

Genetic story idea or at least help for my own story.

Robot evolution. How robots learn to lie in order to survive.

Why would anyone actually do this? Two games played simultaniously with the same controller.

Alternate to spider-mans sticky powers.

Man returns to army after sex change operation.

The future of cyberpunk dialog. Kinda makes me wish I had a cell phone to figure this stuff out.

I don't really think that god wants it done this way. Seems to defeat the purpose of prayer.

There is a romantic comedy in here somewhere.

Cool but weird, with a potential bad turn for the rabbit, though maybe Disney would like the rights for their next animation.

A neat new theory trying to explain the universe.

I just think it's neat that we are still discovering new species on this planet. The diversity of life is just amazing.

Why only wenseday?

2008-02-13T10:40:00.002-05:00

Why have I only been posting on Wenesdays? Well, that's an extremely boring question. Don't you have anything better to do with your time than ask something that absolutely no one either cares about, or has even noticed? If you are reading this blog, then I assume that answer to the latter n is a resounding no. Thus, I shall answer the former.

The only time I've really been at the computer with the time or inclination to write, ie haven't been working at starbucks since 5:30 in the AM, or am about to go into Starbucks to work until 11:00 in the PM, is when I am at Tribeca Productions on Wensedays and often, especially during the writer's strike, have nothing else to do. Now that the writer's strike is over, I still have little to do, hence my posting only on Wenesdays.

Some news:
I added a link to my youngest brother's new blog That Green Gentleman in my link section.

I'm getting sick, but trying desperately not to. I didn't sleep at all on Saturday night. We went out for my brother's bachelor party (not the one with the blog) and I didn't get back from Manhattan until four in the am. As I was scheduled to work at six thrity I figured sleep would just make me more tired and I stayed awake and worked my eight hour shift. I got a lot of sleep afterwards, but everytime I wear myself down like that I get sick. And always the same way too. Sore throat that turns into a runny nose and congestion headache, and is usually gone in about a weeks time. So I figure I have a few more days of drinking copious amounts of orange juice, eating lots of soup, and trying my best to stay out of the cold and rain (doens't help that I was out shoveling snow three times yesterday, and that it is horrid and cold and rainy today), drinking tea, and sleeping.

As always, good night, and good luck.

Still so sleepy

2008-02-06T13:47:00.001-05:00

This was going to be my week of lists, where everyday was a different fun list (no not links, just random Ami thoughts) but I've been too tired to get anything together. Still working more hours than I would like, and sleeping too little. I've had a bit of fun, went out for dim sum with two freinds yesterday before work, so that was nice.

I started the ball rolling in planning a bachelor's party for my brother who is to be wed in March, but completely fell off the ball due to work, exhustion, and a bit of laziness. Lucky one of Hillel's freinds picked up the ball and there is a tentitive plan for the weekend. So I got lucky, and feel a little bad that I didn't acutally plan anything myself, just threw it out for someone else to plan.

To be honest, having written only two paragraphs I've already forgotten what my point was going to be in this post. I know I had a point when I started, but now, not even two minutes into typing this, I've lost it. I need to stop working six days a week.

And on that note, hooray brother, hopefully it will all work out. And lists shall probably come next week, if I get back on my game.

Stay happy kiddos

Also, it seems Rawbean stopped blogging again. I'd have probably known this sooner had I read her blog more frequently. But I read other people's blogs about as frequently as I post my own, which gives you a pretty good idea as to how often that is. It isn't that I don't like the blog, if I didn't I wouldn't link to it from here, just that when I don't blog myself I kinda forget about the blogging of others. it's one of those out of site, out of mind (and that was an intentional pun, site instead of sight, as in website, it's funny because they're homophones).

Superman Returns, Again

2008-01-30T13:42:00.000-05:00

Because I have some spare time right now, and lack of anywhere else to focus my imagination, and because sequels and superhero movies make money, I give you my thoughts as to how I would write the next Superman movie.

Ideally I would be able to start from scratch, leaving the 1978 Richard Donner Superman movie and 2007 Bryan Singer sequel/remake mythology out of it completely.

But as this is far from an ideal world (just ask Plato) for the sake of this pointless exercise, let's assume that I'd have to make it directly connected to the most recent incarnation (see Bryan Singer's sequel/remake link above).

I'm also going to assume that any reader of this entry has seen the most recent Superman movie. If you haven't, this is going to be something of a spoiler.

If you haven't seen it and are still reading because you are so completely fascinated with me, or just don't care if it's a bit ruined, here is a recap of the ending of the previous film. Superman ripped a man-made island composed entirly of kryptonite (built by one Lex Luthor) out of the Atlantic and hurled it into outer space. He nearly dies, but recovers only once he finds that he, not Richard White (Lois's fiancé) is the biological father of Lois's son Jason. Lex Luthor loses all his henchmen save Kitty and is stranded on a teeny tiny island in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but his girl Kitty, a small Pomeranian dog, a palm tree with six coconuts, and a helicopter without any fuel. The End.

And without any further ado, my thoughts for a sequel. This is only a rambling treatment, which of course would need a few polishes and revisions, but as it stands in my head right now:

We start on a boat anchored many miles off the coast of Metropolis. Here we have treasure hunters deep sea diving looking for any remnants of the Kryptonite Island that Lex Luthor built. They have no desire to kill Superman, but know that Kryptonite is an alien mineral, and have been hired by a private research firm for a tremendous amount of money to bring the mineral back for further study. Their motive is purely for profit, not for evil. Low and Behold they find a few small chunks of Kryptonite that fell off the Island as it was flung to outer space. One the way back from their successful search, coincidence of coincidences, they notice a helicopter stranded on a teeny tiny island and decide to investigate. Bum, bum, bummmmmm.

Now cut to Superman doing superman type stuff. Saving kittens from trees, Rescuing people from earthquakes, putting out fires, foiling bank robbers. That sort of thing. All the while, between each mission, flies by Lois and Richard's house checking up on his baby and baby momma so to speak. Richard, though a genuinely nice guy, starts getting a little pissed and a little jealous. He realizes very early on who Jason's real father is, as, since the first movie, Jason's Kryptonian powers start kicking in randomly, and kicking out equally as randomly. Of course Lois tries hiding it from Richard, which only puts that much more of a strain on their relationship. Jason has no idea what's going on and none of his parents, biological or in Richard's case, adoptive, tell him. Thus he's pretty freaked out.

Clark is sent by Perry to cover the newest press conference of one Professer Emmet Vale. Vale is on the forefront of robotics and is discussing his newest invention. A human like robot covered in artificial skin (think like Arnold Schwarzenegger in T1 through T3) to be sent into space and deep-sea expeditions in lieu of humans. The key is that the robots containing no intelligence of their own would be directly controlled by a human operator via some sort of remote control that was linked to their thoughts - sort of like a virtual reality machine. Using only one's brain one would control said robot over thousands of miles of distance ( yes I know that sort of radio control is impossible as instantiations transmission is physically impossible without breaking the speed of light, but if we can believe a man can fly, hopefully we can believe this sort of remote control is also possible). The only drawback to his design is the simple fact that the robot eats up a tremendous amount of energy and they haven't designed a small enough energy source capable of powering the robot for extended periods of time. Vale in the course of the press conference hints that a solution for the problem is forthcoming, and the final prototype will be unveiled by the end of the fiscal year.

Lois, crack reporter that she is, is doing research for a new story on Intergang. A shady organization focused on exploiting new technology for all its criminal needs. They don't focus on drugs, prostitution, gambling, or other protection rackets like regular organized crime. They focus on high-end weapons, computer programs, and what not in order to hack banks and government organizations, as well as break into banks and so forth. Superman is back and regular bullets and the like don't work. These guys are the 21st century of organized crime. She tracks down one of Intergang's main enforcers John Corben to try and get him to talk, but he brushes her off and threatens her that if she keeps on digging bad things may start happening to her loved ones.

Now, the boat we saw in the beginning comes into dock (yes I know it's been a long time, but this is a movie, stuff like that happens all out of order). Now, instead of the treasure hunters we met in the beginning Lex Luthor and Kitty walk ashore disguised as the treasure hunters. Lex is happy and confident. He's back in Metropolis and has the Kryptonite he needs to get his revenge. Before he can get anywhere he is confronted by Vale. Vale was the one who hired the treasure hunters in the first place, and assumes (due to the disguise) that Lex is a member of the team. Lex takes advantage of the mistake and follows Vale back to Vale's Lab (Lex is a fugitive and has no where else to go at the moment). At the lab Vale reveals that the kryptonite is intended to be used as a power source for his new robot, which he calls Metallo. There is a cavity in the Robots chest that has been retrofitted to house the kryptonite and convert the k-radiation into energy. It's not quite finished yet, however, he needed the actual kryptonite in order to finish it to the correct specification needed. Until then, the robot is actually powered by Uranium, which is not only incredibly expensive, but due to the robots power usage, goes through the uranium far to quickly to make it practical or ecologically sound.

Re-enter John Corben. He breaks into Vale's Lab in order to steal his invention, as is intergangs modus operandi. There is a struggle, Corben kills Vale, but Lex gets the drop on Corben and mortally injures him. As Corben lays dying, Lex steps over to finish him off, looks at Metallo, then at Corben, and smiles a diabolical smile. Bum, bum, bummmmm (once again).

Richard finally confronts Lois about Jason, and the frequent flyby's by the Man of Steel, but Lois won't have any of it. He earnestly wants to try talking it out, working through the hardship, but Lois plays a game of avoidance and denial, saying she can't talk now, she's too busy with her Intergang story. She's close to breaking it wide open.

At the same time Superman, due to his frequent flybys knows Jason is starting to exhibit his powers, and begins to secretly train his son. Not so much to fight crime, but to control the powers that are freaking Jason out so much. Jason, being a pretty bright kid, has very strong suspicions that Richard is not his father as he previously thought.

Lois manages to track down the head of intergang Bruno "Ugly" Mannhiem. Because in the movies Lois is impetuous (and kinda stupid) she decides to confront Mannhiem herself for her story. The exchange is heated, and Mannhiem realizes he can't let her live. He sends some of his goons after her. A bit of a chase scene, and right when everything looks the bleakest a figure from the sky crashes down and saves her from the goons. She turns and is about to say something like "thank you Superman" but realizes it's an entirely different man of steel (jeepers, am I clever!). It's Metallo who just saved her life. "I told you to stay away." Metallo says with John Corben's disembodied voice, but as he reaches to kill her he stops suddenly and voilently, as if he is not in control of his own movements. Then he grumbles something like "fine, I'll let her live, for now." before he knocks her out and bounds off for the bossman Ugly Mannheim. Metallo easily dispatches Mannheim and there is a new boss of Intergang now.

It's only then that Superman swoops in and now we have our first real super battle. It's quick, it's brutal, but Metallo is quickly running out of energy, so he uses Lois as a decoy and quickly escapes as Superman rushes to save her.

Metallo returns to Vale's Lab. There he argues with his master, Lex Luthor. He tries to attack Luthor but freezes up. Luthor has an override for his metallic assassin. It is at that time we learn that Luthor saved Corben Removing his brain and attaching it to the virtual reality device that controls the robot. Luthor used Corben because he wanted Corben's inside knowledge of Intergang. It's Luthor who's really in control.

Lois and Richard learn of Jason's secret training and they are not happy. This puts a strain on Superman and Lois's relationship. It also puts a strain on Richard and Lois's relationship. Lois and Jason become a bit emotionally distant because he knows that she lied to him about his biological father. Jason and Superman become distant again, as Lois forbids the training. The only relationship that grows stronger is the bond between Jason and Richard. Richard loves Jason just like a father (biological or adoptive) should, and Jason's love for his adoptive father only grows in admiration of Richards continual support.

Lois forbids Jason from using his powers, and Superman then agrees. Jason then becomes estranged from his biological father.

Clark does a follow up to the Vale story only to find that Vale is dead. Doing a bit of research, he finds out that the death of Vale is directly related to Intergang, and Perry assigns Lois and Clark to team up on the story. Lois is consumed with the story using it to avoid her personal life. Clark becomes the only real stable thing in her life and for the first time she starts to really appreciate him. He is safe as compared to her son, her fiancé or even her love with Superman. The love triangle gets more complicated.

Using Intergang and Metallo, Luthor starts taking over the entire Metropolis underworld. Superman begins fighting back, saving people and such, slowly catching on that it's all organized. Not realizing that Luthor is setting him up for the kill. Luthor finally is able to assemble the kryptonite energy converter to the proper specifications and carefully removes the uranium and replaces it with the kryptonite as Vale originally intended.

We're closing towards the end.

Lois, the crack investigative journalist that she is, discovers Luthor is behind the new wave of crime hitting metropolis.

She of course is taken hostage, as was Luthor's plan all along. It's up to Superman and Richard to save her.

Superman swoops in as he tends to do but is confronted again by Metallo, this time far more powerful as the Kryptonite proves to be a much stronger power source. The two men of steel duke it out. The full on sort of action that we wanted so much in the first one. Big special effects, big explosion, big hits, ect. When it looks like Superman is on top Metallo rips open his chest, exposing Superman to the deadly kryptonite held within. Richard tries to help and shield Superman from the K-radiation, but is put in mortal danger as well. Lex gets to watch it all through the monitors back in Vale's lab seeing through Metallo's eyes. He forces Lois to watch what appears to be the end for both of her lovers.

Back at the scene of the fight, Jason rushes forward wanting to help, torn between his two father figures. His powers are acting up and he can only save one of them, the other is going to die. Richard tells him to save Superman while Superman is too weak to do anything. Jason zooms forward and saves.... bum, bum, bummmm his step father Richard.

Superman remains slowly dying.

Back in the lab Lois, fearing for Superman’s life, struggles once again and manages to get free, running to the controls and remotely shutting Metallo's chest.

Superman gets up, beats back Metallo, and uses his heat vision to seal the chest cavity shut. And puts down Metallo.

The ending I'm a little unsure of. Somehow we need to get all of our characters in the same place. Superman, Richard, Lois, Jason, and Lex. Lex still has a little Kryptonite left, and for the first time, now that his powers are starting to kick in the Kryptonite affects Jason.

Of course there is a struggle, Kitty (you haven't forgotten about her have you, she was around the entire time, mostly to provide witty repartee with Luthor) lets her conscious get the better of her just like the first one, and helps save our heroes. Luthor escapes (because Luthor always escapes) and in the confusion, the machine that hooks Corben's brain the the Metallo machine is destroyed, and traps Corben's consciousness forever inside Metallo.

We end with Lois publishing the story of it all, how it was Luthor behind it all. Her relationship with Richard is almost at an end, her relationship with superman is just as strange as it always is, but now her relationship with Clark is stronger than it ever was. And on that odd note, perhaps leading the two of them to a romance in the third movie, we end leaving everything back to the status quo (with Lois of course realizing that for Jason's own safety she has to let Superman continue to train him).

Epilogue: Luthor on the lamb has a lot of cool tech and files he raided from Intergang and Professor Vale. On one such file is named: "Codename: Brianiac", and thus we end giving us a straightforward segue to the next picture.

The end.

Not the best, perhaps, but just some thoughts as to how I would do it if I was forced to work with the established source material. How I would do it from scratch is a completely different story that I suppose I'll save for another time, if anyone is actually intersted.

Grahr!

2008-01-26T19:42:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I did one of these. Not what I was expecting, but not very surprising either, I guess.

.

Going, going, gone.

2008-01-22T10:20:00.000-05:00

So tired. Worked over fifty hours last week and am not eating right (too tired to make myself healthy food when I get home from work). I don't know how other people do it. Haven't had the energy to blog, write, or search for a new job.

Gotta get off my ass and do it. I'm just a bit burnt out.

Images I'd wear on a t-shirt

2008-01-05T18:29:00.000-05:00

Brought to you by (aka stolen from the web comic) Droop

New Year + 2 days

2008-01-02T10:08:00.000-05:00

Saw the Dresden Dolls on New Years eve in the city. Tons of fun. Amanda (she of the piano and vocals in the band) mentioned that she recorded a side project album with Ben Folds. To which all I have to say is I must own that album. She played one song from the recording and it was good. Need more info on release date. No hype, but I can't think of a much better modern pairing than those two.

once again Warren Ellis is smarter than I am

2007-12-29T18:15:00.000-05:00

This should really come as no surprise but Warren Ellis is smarter than me. I've had a decent amount of free time recently, partly due to my own laziness, partly due to the holiday season, and partly due to a job offer I'm waiting to hear back from which may or may not be the ticket out the more annoying and sad parts of my life (seemingly now more likely not than yes, but we live in hope), and I've spent some time (too much time) reading stupid things on the internet. I thought about linking a bunch of sites to give examples but really, I don't want to subject you to the inanity that has consumed my waking hours. If you are really interested just got to reddit.com and check out their politics section.

In any case, everybody and their grandmother seems to want to blame everything on an ideology. Be it religion, left or right wing politics, or some other crazy ideology. What it comes down to I think is not an idea or ideology, it's (as Warren Ellis writes - and I'm sure lots of other people have also said) it doesn't matter what the idea is, people screw it up every time. People are the problem, not because people are inherently bad or evil, rather because people are inherently stupid.

It's unfortunately that simple. People ruin everything.

But maybe I've spent too much of my time on the internet instead of doing something more productive, like trying to have a life. Maybe I should get on that.

Happy Tuesday

2007-12-25T12:17:00.000-05:00

Happy Tuesday! I will be celebrating this special Tuesday the traditional way. By eating Chinese Food, going to the movies and then working a shift for time and a half pay.

Enjoy your Tuesday, however you may spend it.

Will this actually make a difference? One can only hope

2007-12-12T13:52:00.000-05:00

In the end of Janurary CNN will be hosting more debates for the presidential primaries. On their website, you have the opportunity to write in your own questions, and then vote on the questions you think are the best.

I myself have posted a question, and intend to post some more. If you would like to pose some questions to the potential nominees you may do so here: http://dyn.politico.com/debate/index.cfm

If you don't want to register with Politico feel free to leave your questions in my comments section and I will post your questions for you.

It is in our best interests to ask the questions we feel we have a right to be answered, not only for our own edification, but so the general public is aware of their stances (whether or not you are a US citezen, as - not to sound ethnocentric but - there are global implications depending on who becomes the the next American President). The political process is meaningless with out our involvement. Well, at least more meaningless than it would be otherwise.

because no one asked, more LINKS OF INTEREST

2007-12-10T11:07:00.000-05:00

Crazy Hitler TV show
Crazy escape
This is actually pretty cool
Wasps and orchids get it on!
Possibilities of life in outer space
Origin of cosmic rays, or how to join the fantastic four
Indian women vigilante justice
The brain as modeled by Pinky
Interesting it's jurrasic park but for viruses and the hope for future cures.
A possible addendum to the previous link in regards to bacteria
I don't know if a Robocop or Million Dollar man joke is more appropriate here
so I thought this was originally a joke, but apparently there really are people this stupid in the world (unless I'm wrong about it not being a joke)
But if it isn't a joke then this is proof that he's right and the conspiracy is real
When insults had class
Funny I'm pretty sure that this has already been explained by one of my earlier postings (which I guess I need to find before I link it) and also, by this little known fact
in order to write an action movie/story that more accurately portrays physics
A picture just for big ben.

The End....

For now

Because I spend too much time putting together the inane when I should be reading my Einstein Biography

2007-12-05T11:53:00.000-05:00

Bands I wish I was into before they broke up:

Pizzicato Five - Jpop (as in Japanese pop music) that is light, airy, fun and a bit jazzy, even touching at times. I don't know much about the world of Jpop (Puffy AmiYumi is really the only other Jpop band I know) but if this is a prime example I should probably go out and try to learn more.

Soul Coughing - I don't know if this one really counts as I started listening to them when they were together, but it was only in their twilight. A little while after I picked them up, they split. Very groovy, sort of on the jam band circuit, a bit more electronic sounding Morphine. Got into it in college, they performed live my freshman year and broke up not to much later.

Morphine - They didn't break up so much as Mark Sandman, the lead singer, died. The intersection in Cambridge right in front of the Middle East (a music venue and restaurant) is named after him because they were a Boston/Cambridge based band and played that venue a lot. Very good stuff. Kinda Jazzy, deep bass rhythms, smoky vocals, the kind of music you feel in your gut (almost literally as it's heavy on the bass). Chill, head bobbing, music that won't put you to sleep. If it weren't for my Junior year dorm neighbor (and later apartment mate) Mike Gibisser I never would have heard of these guys. (he is a man with much greater music knowledge than I posses - he also introduced me to most of the bands in the indie rock section of my MP3 player, such as the Postal Service, Death Cab for Cutie, Built to Spill, and Guster)

I kinda want to say Pavement also, but I'm not really into Pavement, but I feel for some reason I should be.

New Music that I'm kinda getting into at the moment:

Jesca Hoop - She's kinda new, found out about her a few weeks ago when I got an advanced copy of her new CD for free (by no doing of my own, it just sort of fell into my lap). If Nellie McKay was a bit more soulful and a little less ironic, I think this is what she'd sound like. Oddly enough I just noticed yesterday that one of her songs is being featured on one of the Starbucks play list, leading me to believe her music is playing much more widely than I would have imagined.

The Bird and the Bee - I really have only heard two of their songs, but like the two that I've heard and plan on listening to a lot more.

And thanks to Rawbean recently I've become addicted to Stars.

I also was listening to a lot of Feist, but with the constant replay on the TV, radio, and at Starbucks, I found her music to be catchy the first few times one hears it, but the catchiness decreases exponentially in diametric proportion to the frequency of repitition of said music. Though I am now interested in checking out Broken Social Scene, which coupled with Stars (a few of whom also play for BSS) I guess this is my little "hooray Canadian bands!" section.

The Suck explained

2007-11-27T14:22:00.000-05:00

If you didn't click the link in the title, bear with me for I am about to explain the mystery that is this older posting.

A little over two months ago, J_ broke up with me. It sucked. It sucked in ways that words can't (at least my words can't) describe. I was totally, head over heels, ridiculously in love with that girl, in a way that I had never been with anyone before in my life. In that stupid movie and storybook way love is always described, but not believed by said reader until experiencing it him or herself. The story of the break up really isn't that interesting unto itself. I loved her, her feelings for me had changed. It happens, and I'm not the first person that it's happened to (in fact I can recall a time in my life when the situation was almost exactly reversed), nor will I be the last. C'est la vie.

The reason I bring this up now, instead of two months ago, the emotions were a bit too raw, and I kinda, sorta, secretly hoped we'd get back together. This past Friday I finally took her pictures out of my wallet the finality of the break up only now realized. We still talk, J_ and I, a bit over the phone, and e-mail. And we've even hung out once or twice since, but as friends and nothing else.

Which I guess brings me to my new point. If any of you lovely ladies out there are looking for a mildly emotionally crippled guy who's a bit still hung up on his ex-girlfriend, I am now officially available.

P.S. Only time will tell if I'll ever reveal the secret behind this posting, let's keep our fingers crossed that the answer will someday be yes.

Random "important" thoughts Part one

2007-11-20T23:16:00.000-05:00

On Global Warming:
I don't know much about global warming. I generally believe in global warming, from the bits that I've read and seen on TV and such it makes sense to me. Do I think it's a catastrophic event that is going to destroy mankind? I have no idea, but probably not. Do I think that it's minute and nothing we should worry about? No, I definitely don't think that either. I'm somewhere in between those two poles in regards to the belief that global warming exists and it is caused to a certain extent by human beings and the industrialized world. Given that, my basic notion in regards to global warming and the environment is the following: whether global warming exists or not, it's still a good idea to try and keep our environment as clean as we can. Tossing global warming aside, anyone who argues that an Earth with more pollutants and less biodiversity is a good and healthy place to live is an idiot. Can't we just want clean air and water, and a bountiful and beautiful natural landscape because that's better living for all inhabitants of Earth, including (and especially) humans, without making it political? I'd like to think so.

On President Bush:
I think I'm one of the few liberals that I know, who has grown to like Bush more as time goes on than less. Which is not to say that I think he is a good president, or actually agree with his policies. Perhaps like is too strong of a word. Grown more tolerant of our current president is probably a better way of putting it. I recently had a short conversation with someone at work (not a fellow employee but a customer) who was going on about how Bush is a fascist, and then started comparing him to Hitler. Many jokesters like saying that Bush is nothing like Hitler because Hitler was democratically elected. This may be so, but Hitler then dismantled the government, started a world war of conquest, and institutionalized genocide in Eastern Europe. So far, as I am aware, the government as imagined by the constitution still exists. We have started a war, and though many have categorized it as a colonialist occupation, the ultimate goal is one of withdrawal. Granted there has been tremendous deal of lying, and the removal of civil liberties, along with the ignoring of international treaties (as in the Geneva convention) but we as the public are slowly gaining ground on these issues, and hopefully the next president will be able to restore the seat of the presidency so there isn't such egregious abuse of power in the future (which means I hope a democrat wins in 2008). Do I think he is a bad president? Definitely. Do I think he might have broken the law and thus should be prosecuted? I do. Do I think he's evil? No I don't. I think the more I hear or read arguments comparing him to leaders like Hitler, or calling him a fascist, the more tolerant I become due to the extreme fallacy of those arguments.

Read and laugh

2007-11-19T12:25:00.000-05:00

hahahahahahah

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a 98 lb. weakling caught in a gentle breeze

2007-11-12T10:48:00.000-05:00

I always said I knew I was out of shape. I just don't think I really knew that I was out of shape. One of those, "sure I can't run a marathon, but I'm a pretty healthy guy" sort of out of shape. Turns out, I'm just as out of shape as I said but never really believed I was.

I went to the gym this morning because I thought it would be a good idea and I need something like that in my life right now. I'm not really into free weights or the machines, so I settled on swimming. I almost made nine laps (well, technically if you consider there and back a single lap it was really almost five laps) before my heart was beating so fast I thought it would explode, and there was the serious and realistic fear that I would throw up in the pool. Luckily not only did my heart eventually slow down, but I managed to keep all my insides in.

So I'm going to have to go again, and probably join the gym if I think it's something I could get into. My main problem with working out is that there isn't any stopping point. It's not like, say learning an instrument, where it's hard work for a while, but once you learn it you don't need to take lessons anymore and just play for fun. I can't swim until I'm in shape, and then just stop, because that "in-shapeiness" will disappear. I don't want to be a slave to a gym for the rest of my life.

On a side note, I hate public showers. My father said this is a phobia I have to overcome. It isn't a phobia. I'm not scared of public showers, I can use them (and used one today in fact) I just don't like them. I don't care how often they are cleaned, it isn't solely a cleanliness issue. I like privacy when I shower. I like to absorb the heat, take it in slowly, and relax as I clean. This is very difficult to accomplish when there are a bunch of naked people walking around. I have no problem with the nudity in the locker room, or even being naked in the locker room myself. It's just a shower to me is a very personal thing. Growing up in a family of six with only three bedrooms (well two if you don't count my parents bedroom), doesn't really allow for any private or personal space. The shower was a refuge of privacy one couldn't really find anywhere else in the house. And that is how I still view it. Showering in public is antithetical to my belief's as to how a shower should be.

This is why people suck

2007-11-09T15:45:00.001-05:00

I hate people. I hate people so much I can't remember a time when I didn't hate people. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm a complete loner, but generally I prefer to either be alone or the company of just a few friends, and I hate meeting strangers. People bother the crap out of me. This might surprise anyone who knows that I have worked in customer service most of my life. Simultaneously this might also explain why I hate people so much. I fake it pretty well, working behind a register, being all bright and cheerful, but I only act that way because I'm getting paid to do so. Maybe I'm not as bitter as this paragraph makes me seem, but I do hate people none-the-less.

This past Wednesday I was working at Tribeca Productions. It was slow all day long, mostly due to the writers strike. No submissions, no rewrites, and very little we, as a production company, could do. It got to a point where the director of development was tossing a water bottle up and down into the air out of boredom, and joking that he soon might also need to get a job at Starbucks. Having little to do myself I hopped on Triggerstreet to read other amateur writers material and write reviews/constructive criticism to help them improve their writing. I have some material posted and reviews I have received have helped me write better drafts. I read a short story and this is the review that I posted for a story entitled BEING DUMB:

I can't tell if this story is trying to be ironic or if it's supposed to be read straight forward. At first I thought the story was being told from an eleven year old's perspective but then even though the story had a bit of a child like voice the character got older.

Then I thought that perhaps the narrator was actually supposed to be as dumb as he claimed, only every so often he would say mildly ironic things leading me to believe he isn't supposed to be that dumb after all. The bit about the college degree in the end was pretty confusing, not unto itself but when juxtaposed with the tone.

the bit about the abusive step-father came out of left field, then was dropped almost as soon as it came. Either the guy is really dumb and it's inconsequential to him, or he just pretends to be dumb, but then why doesn't he make this a bigger issue, or lead up to it a bit better? It was another moment where I couldn't tell exactly the intent of the story.

the story, I think, was also a few pages too long. It's a bit repetitive, at least in the telling of all the different girls, and if you took one or two girls out near the end you could shave a few pages without losing anything.

I know this seems like a disparaging review, but I did like the story. It was very cute and at moments the narrators voice really resonated with the storytelling. It was a good read that I think can use a little more work.

Arguably, the writing in this review could have been better. I wrote it pretty quick after I read the short story in question. I didn't much care for the story and I tried to write my concerns and straightforward as I could. I wasn't trying to be mean, just honest, tempered with some compassion in the end. I mean it's difficult to write a glowing review if one thinks the piece in question is sub par. And that's the point of the reviews on Triggerstreet, for writers to get feedback about their stories, both the good and the bad.

The next day this is the e-mail I received from the writer of BEING DUMB (which apparently was a biography, though not mentioned anywhere for me to know that, unless I am supposed to assume that all stories written in first person are biographical):

You know, instantly, I guessed a lot about you. Even where you’re from, your age (actually I thought you were a few years younger) and your heritage. That obnoxious rudeness and lack of any common sense gave you away.

Not understanding the story or who the narrator is, is okay. I can except that from someone like you.

It’s those dumb remarks, asshole. I bet you got your ass kicked quite a bit when you were a kid.

I’m sure you won’t (and incapable of) back up anything you wrote with examples.

This piece was clearly autobiographical to anyone with a little reading comprehension. As children we sometimes do stupid things (you probably still do). If you could have understood what I wrote (I doubt you actually read it, because I can’t believe you can be that stupid.), the actions of the adults were actually more senseless than anything the main child did. But of course, you’re incapable of seeing that. Actually I’m sure you can’t understand what I wrote so far.

You make this asinine remark about the step-father. That can be expected from someone who isn’t too bright (and doesn’t realize it). I won’t attempt to explain it to you simply because you wouldn’t understand it.

You question my degree? How did you make it through high school?

Which girls do you suggest I remove? It’s part of a constructive review to give examples and why. But since I’ve had the displeasure of getting several of your verbal attacks without one iota of constructive criticism, I realize that’s not your style.

The stories involving the girls all led to something else. Maybe you didn’t comprehend that part (that’s if you read it).

I’m confident being honest wasn’t a part of your upbringing. But I’ll ask the boy, clearly lacking in credibility, did you actually read this story (I know 19 pages is a lot)? What is it: incapable of understanding simple things or you didn’t actually read the whole thing?

I don’t really expect any kind of intelligent response (fuck you is probably your definition of an intelligent response, much like the mind of a ten year old).

All I was trying to do is be helpful, show what I found to be the weaker points of his story. That's the whole point of Triggerstreet. I want to write him back but I know it's pointless. It's just really fucking me up.

And this is why, people suck.

I wish I wasn't a moron

2007-11-04T18:34:00.000-05:00

So:

Today at Starbucks I'm working, making drinks, making small talk with customers, doing what I'm paid to do. It's a bit busy but no big deal.

There are these two girls who have started coming in. A white girl and an asian girl. They seem nice. Both studying to be, well, I don't know the official scientific term, but basically foot surgeons. Apparently they've asked about me when I wasn't around, and now I get teased by my fellow co-workers when they come in. I'm not interested in either of them, but it's nice to know there are people out there in the world who find me desirable.

The two girls in question came in, and of course I make small talk (which is how I learned about their studies and their intended career). When their backs are turned my manager Danny teases me a bit, all in good nature, and I'm feeling pretty cool.

Feeling cool is always what leads me into trouble because I am never, in no way, cool.

Later, still feeling cool, a man, say in his mid-thirties walks in, a professional look about him even though he's wearing a Superman t-shirt. Of course, being the comic book dork I am, I talk up a bit about superman, and we this man says that a few years ago he dressed up as Clark Kent for Halloween.

Anyway, a bit later I catch him reading what I think is a Justice League comic, mostly because it has Superman on the cover.

Ok, in reality, maybe an hour total has passed since the girls walked in and then this fellow with the superman shirt. I punch out to leave and the man with the Superman shirt asks if I'm the manager. I'm not the manager but maybe I can help him. He asks an innocuous question about the furniture but there really isn't anything we can do to help because we get all the furniture from Starbucks corporate and know nothing about it.

Then I ask him about the comic book, which turns out to be the Justice Society, not Justice League. Those of you not into comics are probably thinking, who cares, right? Well, no one really cares. I tell him the only reason I asked was I wanted to know what he might have thought about the new Justice League writer. He didn't really answer but said that the Justice Society comic was good. I responded that the writer of the Justice Society, Geoff Johns, never really thrilled me. I liked his run on the Flash, but outside the Flash it was just ok and I didn't think I was going to pick it up.

What's the big deal with all of this? I felt cool so I engaged a customer after I was off the clock. Had I not felt cool I probably would have directed his question to someone still on the clock and made my exit. The cooler I feel the more likely I'm to interact with strangers.

I came home and something about the whole exchange niggled me in the back of the head. Not so much a voice, but a general uneasiness, which kept biting the corner of all my thoughts. I decide, because this is how fate works, to look Geoff Johns up on the internet.

I've never seen Geoff John in person or in any photograph before today, but after seeing his image just a few moments ago on the internet, I'm about 85 percent sure that the man I spoke with at Starbucks was Geoff Johns himself, and I told him I wasn't thrilled by his writing. First off, as a writer I know how much that really sucks. Secondly, I would love to write comic books someday. And if it was Geoff Johns (which I'm now pretty sure he was), he'd be an amazing contact to have. I can't imagine, in my stupid, look how cool I am fanboy mode, I gave a good first impression. "Hey, yeah, remember me? I'm the idiot barista who said you weren't such a good writer to your face. How'd you like to help get me a job?" I don't think that will go over very well.

Next time I just have to remember that I'm not cool and to keep my big mouth shut. Or at least ask for a name first.

last one on the bandwagon (but it's how I feel)

2007-10-27T22:20:00.001-04:00

So I grabbed this link from Peter David's Blog but he got it from Dan Slott (sorry couldn't find a homepage for him, but really I didn't look very hard), so I'm just spreading the wealth.

Anyway, I don't know if this counts as Irony that I found the link from a comments forum, but I think it speaks the truth.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1771556

Fodder for potential stories (and other links of interest)

2007-10-17T12:40:00.001-04:00

This is more for my own personal files than it will be for your reading pleasure, though if you want to know the type of stuff that grabs my interest, please enjoy this list of links to various news stories.

Some are bits that spark ideas to be used or modified for future fiction I might conceive, whilst the others are just kinda neat. I haven't verified or done any real fact checking, yet. Needless to say that if any wind up in a story idea more research will be done.

ps3 smarter than supercomputers (wired.com)

this is just more mean than ironic, but talk about false advertising...

Slacker sex comedy maybe? Anything about breasts usually sells (thelondonpaper.com).

not synaesthetic , but seeing eye tongues (scienceblogs.com).

the real TIE (twin ion engines) fighters. (wired.com)

plants that clean as they grow (enviromentalgraffiti.com)

They grew Hitler's brain (not really but still sounds better than they grew a tiny brain in a petri dish - which actually does sound pretty cool the more I think about it). This is definitely story-worth, science fiction meet science fact (cnn.com)

there is a comic book story waiting to grow from this (the discovery channel online, I think)

KABOOM! (youtube.com)

Slightly older news but still pretty cool (time.com)

there is a story in this somewhere, especially, the bit about the abandoned but fully stocked life raft but I need to verify from a more reputable source. (damninteresting.com)

so congress doesn't completely suck (editorandpublisher.com)

I guess he never watches futurama and heeded the warnings of the space pope (ananova.com)

I guess that's all for now, hope you had as much fun as I did.

Better late than never?

2007-10-09T11:41:00.000-04:00

Columbus day was yesterday, and though I wanted to post these thoughts yesterday I as busy working, writing, and watching television to get it done. I haven't really been able to focus, but I'll get to that in a bit. First Christopher Columbus.

In the New York Times there was this whole article about where Columbus was from. There is a debate (apparently) as to Columbus's true origins. Whether he was a poor boy from Genoa, or the illegitimate son of Portuguese Royalty, or Catalonian, or a Crypto-Jew hiding from the inquisition, or some other theory that I can't recall at the moment. The Italians claim he is Italian (which is why Columbus day is a big deal for Italian-American communities), the Portuguese claim he is Portuguese, and so forth. Everyone wants to claim him for their own. To which I say, why? What is the point in claiming this man, the last man to discover the "new world," as their own. What does it give them in return? Bragging rights, even though (save the Spanish) if he had stayed in any of his purported homelands, he wouldn't have ever sailed. What sort of bragging right is that? I guess the Spanish have something, that they allowed him to sail, but that is true whether he is native to Spain or not, so why does it matter if he was from Catalonia, or Majorica (an island of the coast of Spain, which I think is another place some historians claim he was from)? And the Jewish thing isn't very credible, in my opinion, and even if he was Jewish, it doesn't help us or anything, especially as part of his argument to travel was to spread the faith in Christ. Not a particularly Jewish thing to do.

And for the record, Columbus was the last person ever to discover America. I'm pretty sure it was found first by the Native peoples who migrated during the ice age (and as far as I'm concerned, if your people have been in the same place since the ice age, that's about as native as anyone in the world can claim to be). Then the Vikings came to North America around 1000 A.D. And last but not least we can't forget (though hotly disputed) the Chinese discovery of the new world about seventy years before Columbus set sail.

But I guess if one is native, a Nordic heathen, or Asian, then the discovery doesn't count. Only European Christians ever discovered anything.

Granted, Columbus did set off the first wave of colonialism in the new world which would eventually lead to other European nations coming over, giving us the country we know and love today. So on that note he is important. But I don't remember ever learning that in school as to why we celebrate Columbus day, it's always because he discovered America. I don't mind celebrating, I just wish we were more honest about his historical importance in the celebration.

But don't mind me, I'm just bitter for unrelated reasons, which I'm still not ready to get into yet.

On the other hand, life might suck

2007-09-25T14:14:00.001-04:00

Though this time for completely different reasons than why it might not.

Life might not totally suck

2007-09-15T20:47:00.000-04:00

For various reasons that I'll mention if it turns out life doesn't suck. If life does suck then we already know why.

Also, please check out my pal's Charlie's blog. She's a hundred times better at this than I am, also more interesting and smarter. (The fact that she's a far superior writer also helps).

I'll hyperlink it here, when I'm less lazy, but for know it's already linked on the side column where I have all my blog links. Enjoy you crazy readers.

when good ideas go bad

2007-08-29T15:22:00.000-04:00

Just to put it out there, I am not a Christian. This is not a remark that is meant to infer judgment. I am not a Christian in the way you hear many secular people claim that though they were raised Cathotolic, Protestant, Evangelical, ect. they no longer believe, say they are not Christians. I am Jewish. But I live in a nation of Christians. This is not to say that America is a Christian Nation. I don't believe that it is. But it would be foolish to say that this country doesn't have a Christian majority. That it's founders were, if not strictly Christian (as many like to call them deists), coming from a Christian heritage in Europe, and had a decidedly Christian view on life. Granted they were also given the foresight, that though there was a Christian majority, we would be given a secular government to ensure the rights of all citizens regardless of religious or ethnic back ground. And to any one out there would claims this isn't really a nation of Christians, ask yourself why we get Christmas vacation but not Passover, Diwali, or Ramadan vacations? Even if you want to call it winter break, it still is set up to coincide with Christmas. So semantics aside, America is, was, and probably always will be set up and run with a Christian ideology (not Judeo-Christian as people like to say, if it really were Judeo-Christian then eating pork would be just as hotly contested as abortion - well that's a stretch, but you understand what I mean).

So it hurts a little bit when I hear about Christian groups complaining about the lack of Christian values in this country. It takes supreme hubris (and a Rumsfeldian sized disconnect with reality) to make such claims and act the victim.

Recently on CNN Christiane Amanpour had a three day special about God's Warriors and if you really want to learn more about it, click the link. Personally I don't think it was that good of a documentary series as it pulls a false analogy between Jews and Christians with religious ferver, to Jihadists who actively train and then follow through with murder. But I'm not going to get into that right now. You can follow the link and make up your own mind.

In this documentary, for God's Christian warriors they follow (among others) a group called BattleCry. to learn more about the organization I give you this and this and then look the rest up yourself (fine I'll help). I also had an interesting conversation with two friends down in Atlanta about BattleCry, and why it scares us as people.

But where am I really going with this you ask? Well I'm glad you did. I went to the Battlecry website and I read their teen bill of rights. And for your reading pleasure I give it to you here.

We, a new generation of young Americans, in order to protect the heritage of our forefathers and secure the blessings of liberty for ourselves and generations to come, do affirm and pledge this declaration: When character and morality are uncommon qualities, When corporations and marketers seek to profit from our destruction, When pop culture icons do not represent our values, When Judeo-Christian beliefs are labeled as intolerant, When activists seek to remove God from our schools, When truth is deemed relative and unknowable, It is necessary for us, the emerging generation of young Americans, to stand for what is right and reclaim the values that have made our nation great. We call our nation to a higher standard, a lifestyle based not on convenience, but on character, not on what is easy, but on what is excellent, not on what feels good, but on what is good, not on popularity, but on principle, not on what is tempting, but on what is true. We, as young Americans, assert our right to determine our future and the future of our great nation. We hold these truths as our God-given rights, and we embrace them with our hearts and our lives: We recognize that God, our Creator, is the source of all truth. We will live with honor, always striving to do the right thing, even when it is unpopular. We will be honest and truthful in matters large and small, regardless of the consequences. We will take responsibility for our actions, and not point to governments, schools, celebrities, parents, or friends to justify our wrong decisions. We recognize that we are responsible for our mistakes. We will pursue purity throughout our lives. We will not be seduced by a fabricated idea of sex and love. We will save our bodies and hearts for our future spouses, and once married we commit to pursue faithful and enduring relationships. We will see through the lies of drugs and alcohol and refuse to let any chemical influence our thinking or destroy our lives. We will respect the authorities placed in our lives, even though some may not live as honorably as they should. We will honor our parents, teachers, and other leaders. We will reach out with compassion to the hurting and less fortunate, both in our society and around the world. We refuse to be absorbed with our own comforts and desires. We recognize the value of each life, whether born or unborn, and we seek to protect those who are unable to protect themselves. We will do our best to represent and communicate our Creator to our peers, leaders, and society as a whole. We will work to see that every person has the opportunity to see and hear about the true nature of our God. In signing, we commit to pursue a life that exemplifies these standards. We refuse to sit idly by and witness the destruction of our generation. With God's help, we envision a bright and prosperous future for the nation we love.

Honestly, even though I'm not Christian, (and I'll let go on my animosity towardst the phrase Judeo-Christian) most of what is in this pledge are actually really nice sentiments. Sure I don't agree with everything in this pledege, but nothing jumps out at me as wrongheaded. Some of it is a bit naive (the bit about abstinence before marriage specifically, and the automatic respect of all authority placed in their lives regardless whether said authorites act with honor or not), but nothing so out there as one would assume based on their rallies and such.

So how does an orginization with a pledge that basically encoureges kids to help other people ("We will reach out with compassion to the hurting and less fortunate, both in our society and around the world.") turn into what they themselves call a militant orginization? It's not called a Battlecry for nothing. How does calling for a war against secularization not contradict with the overt peaceful message in their pledge?

I am just saddened that an idea of peace, and respect, and a desire to share one's belief's (which I am not opposed to, sharing is caring, it's the judging that comes along with it that I don't care for) turn into a fountain of distrust and even hate.

Why so glum chum?

2007-08-03T17:09:00.000-04:00

I was going to post a bit about my evening this past Wenesday. Well, I was thinking about it anyway. It's been a bit hectic as my schedule for the past two days have been three parts work to a half a part sleep and a half a part eat. It's been exhasting. Never the less it was an interesing evening.

But lo, to my surprise J_ with her first real food blogging, has beaten me to the punch. If you'd like to see what happened and learn about cool food in NYC please go to her blog.

Also, I promise that this won't become just a contant plug to hers, but I'm still pretty psyched for her and her much better writing (well, much better than mine anyway). Next posting will sure to be as narcissitic as always. Don't you fret.

food glorious food

2007-08-01T10:58:00.000-04:00

To be honest, I have more of a "eat to live" person as opposed to a "live to eat" kind of guy. To that end, I don't pay much attention to the food I eat, what kind of food to make, or where I might go and eat. Luckily for me J_ is a foodie. She is definitely a "live to eat" sort of a gal - which makes her svelte figure that much more impressive.

Now, luckily for all of you, she has started a food blog Slottedspoon.blogsome.com. I'm adding it to my links on the side, and you should check it out, then tell your friends and have them check it out, and tell your friends to tell their friends to check it out,and so on and so forth ad nauseum.

Hooray for J_ and for food!

hello cold and uncaring world

2007-07-25T10:14:00.000-04:00

Two bits of news. First, I turned Twenty-seven this past Sunday. Hooray! I now officially feel old. not that twenty-seven is really that old, but it just means teh peak of my childhood and mistakes of my early twenties are officially behind me and I really have to grow up fast so I don't turn into the pathetic waste that I feel myself becoming and enter my thirties like this. But as Groucho Marx liked to say, "You're only as old as the woman you feel."

Second, I've updated my links a bit and after taking down some old links, I've added a new web comic to the list of web comics I read. I'd reccommend checking it out. What have you got to lose, except time? (And frankly, if you've stopped to read my blog I assume that you have plenty to spare).

If you're too lazy to scroll down to find the link, I give it to you here, but only because I love you.

I'm totally freaking out!

2007-07-02T12:21:00.000-04:00

But only on the inside. On the outside I'm completely calm. Actually, I'm pretty much calm all over, with sporadic panic attacks.

I can't explain, but perhaps one day, when i'm no longer panicing, I'll let you all (i.e. the internet) in on the joke.

Note, 7:45pm: Never mind. All is good. I am not freaking out. That was only a test. If it was a real emergency, my head would have exploded.

Five books you should read if you want to sound smart about stuff

2007-05-21T15:36:00.000-04:00

This is not a meme. This is just a short list I've compiled for anyone out there interested in appearing smart without having to carry around that damn Socrates book around with you every where you go.

Now you'll actually be able to engage in all sorts of conversations that have nothing to do with your hair or your blog.

Also, they are fun to read so enjoy.

The Omnivore's Dillema
By Michael Pollen

Everything you'll need to know about America's modern food production, from the industrial food chain, to organics, to hunting and gathering the food yourself. Not only informative, this will change the way you think about food.

Who Wrote The Bible
by Richard Elliot Freidman

This is not a religious book. I mean it is, but it's not advocating a religion. It is simply a smart, concise, and very accessable (even to those who might never have read the bible) explanation of the Documentary hypothisis. That is the idea (theory/belief/hypothosis) that the bible was written by many people over many, many years. It is not a repudiation of the bible, or belief's held therein. This isn't meant to disuade you from being religious, nor is it meant to make you religious. Just very interesting information.

1421
by Gavin Menzies

The Chinese discovered the world about seventy years before Columbus even set sail. Though this theory isn't quite recognized by Western academics, it is a pretty solid held belief in Asia. Believe it, don't believe it, either way, you'll learn the world has a lot more craziness in it than you previously were led to believe.

Longitude
by: Dava Sobel

A short history as to how Longitude was invented, and the little guy who did it who never got any credit. More British history than anything else. And if you like this book, for extra credit I'd check out Dava Sobel's other non-fictions.

The Radioactive Boyscout
by Ken Silverstein

A crazy true story about a boy, his disfuntional family, his love of nuclear power, and how he almost created a nuclear disaster in his own back yard. Learning about nuclear science and how to build a nuclear reactor in your own back yard with common household items was never this much fun.

There you go. Now you'll have things to talk about during your next boring cocktail party. And You're Welcome

Notes from the underbelly

2007-05-09T11:13:00.000-04:00

Stomach's a' rumblin'. I gots to get me some food.

Of course it's never as bad as it's imagined

2007-05-02T10:41:00.000-04:00

Spoke to my folks about J_. Like I predicted they aren't happy, but unlike I feared, they are much more accepting and polite about the relationship. They aren't accepting in they way that they are supportive, but they aren't blowing up about the whole thing. It was a calm talk where they both were more angry about the lying than the relationship itself - well, sorta. Of course the lying was going to be the issue, I knew that, and we dealt with it like mature people. My father is, well, to put it nicely, displeased about as much in the relationship as he was with the lying. To his credit he's refrained from preaching to me about inter-dating, and now asks about J_ in a sincere manner (because he is sincere). My mother, contrary to any comments Jason might have made last post, is at least feigning supportiviness. She isn't doing it very well, but she's trying which is very nice, and more than I feel I deserve after lying to them for so long (though I really only feel guilty for getting caught since I was planning on telling them just not yet, as if the situation happened all over again I'd still probably do the same thing - does that make me a bad person?). They've also said that they want to invite J_ over for a friday night dinner this summer. Friday Night is a thing. It's the Sabbath Meal. My pops being a rabbi this is a proper (though not at all formal) family meal. We all sit down together, eat a big meal, and do the appropriate rituals one is supposed to do for the sabbath meal. It's not a huge deal to invite J_ to friday night, but it's a much bigger deal to invite her for Friday over any of the other nights of the week.

So, my thoughts currently. I was taking to a freind about the relationship, and the folks, on both sides. On J_'s side, her brother doesn't like me much, but mostly due to the age gap. And I can respect that, even if I don't like that he doesn't like me. Her mom doens't like me because I'm "too small and I have bad vibes." Not an exact quote, but that is how I've been informed that she doesn't like me (at least that's how J_ put it). I have a harder time respecting this, only because it's a bit vague and I think is just masking other prejudices that she isn't going into, or at least that J_ isnt' telling me. But I respect her Mom, because she's her Mom, and if we ever talk I think I can win her over - someday. Regardless, in her family I'm the negative aspect in the disaproval.

In my family, my siblings have no problems with J_, at least not that they have told me. They are neutral, mostly because they haven't really hung out with her. Asaf, who I think might have spoken to her the most seems to like her. My folks don't approve of the relationship because she isn't Jewish. But they don't hold that against her. It's me they disaprove of because I'm dating a non-jew. The Non-Jew in question; once they meet her they'll probably really like her. So once again, though this time in my family, I'm the negative aspect in the disaproval.

Not very cool.

But what can you do?

like a pretzel twisting itself into more knots

2007-04-23T08:19:00.000-04:00

I got sun bunred yesterday. All along my arms. It really sucks. It made sleeping difficult becuase everytime I'd move and and anything would rub up against them it'd hurt.

But that's really not the big deal. I've kinda, sorta, a little bit, been lying to my folks about J_. And by kinda, Sorta, A little bit, I mean I have most definately been lying to my parents. I've been living at home for far too long (can't seem to get a job - which is a whole other rant) and am forced to tell my folks of my comings and goings. Not so much because they are really strict or anything, just that in the course of a conversation they'd ask, "where are you going?" But only if I was going somewhere.

I haven't told them about J_ because I didn't want the tsuris (the headache) of explaining to my parents (one a rabbi, the other a jewish educator) that I was dating a non-Jew (J_ is chinese, and mildly a buddist). They are pretty much on my case about, well the rest of my life, and this was just one more thing I didn't want to have to deal with. The plan, at least in my head, was that I'd tell them if it got serious enough beteen me and J_ (which it kinda has) and once I did get a Real Job. That way, there would be less to nag me about, and I'd be able to move out of the house. It was going to be on my terms, in my somewhat passive aggressive sort of way. Sure it wasn't the best plan, but it was a plan that made me feel better about lying to my parents (which I've been feeling guilty of for almost as long as I've been lying).

I'm up in Syracuse right now where I stayed with J_ for the weekend. My mom called. Amtrak called my house - because I gave them my home number when I reserved my ticket back - and told them that my train from Syracuse was going to be an hour and a half late. So my mom calls me and says, "You lied to us." Which is possibly the worst way to wake up ever. I told them I was going to see freinds in Boston this weekend. Then she gave me the train info and the number who to call. She was very pleasant over the phone, didn't even sound angry, which to be honest, makes me feel even worse.

So that cat is mostly out of the bag. And not only do I feel like a heel for lying for so long (I mean i felt like a heel while I lied, it's just worse that my lie was forced into the open instead of me taking charge and doing it myself) - well, I don't have a second thing. Now my life is going to get both easier and harder.

The worst part is, and it's something I deserve, and something that mekes me feel like I'm in high school all over again, they won't be able to trust me when I tell them anything in regards to my comings and goings, which is in turn going to make living at home hard for all of us.

Guilt and anxiety suck.

Apathy is the best part of me (but only 'cause it rhymes)

2007-04-18T17:30:00.000-04:00

Because nothing on the internet (or interwub as Jeffrey Rowling likes to say) is really new, I can't imagine anyone finding this through me, but just in case.

Go here, watch, laugh, cry.

Or don't. Whatever, it's up to you.

On the state of my thoughts

2007-04-14T20:28:00.000-04:00

There was a job I wanted. I didn't get it. It kinda sucks. This is a pretty boring entry, but I still don't know what I really want this blog to be about. It may just turn back into what it was before, but I almost feel like that would be counter productive. Either way, I'm thinking about turning comments off, because as it stands I only have one reader left after my haitus (Hi Rawbean).

So if I'm doing this for me (and why would I be doing this for me on the internet? if it's just for me shouldn't it be completely private?) why do I need comments in the first place?

Decent questions, perhaps I'll come up with some answers.

Probably not though.

giving this a shot

2007-04-10T20:48:00.000-04:00

I've been absent. I realized the that I didn't have much to say, and I don't know if I really want to continue blogging at all, though I figure I'll give this a bit of a go; but I think changes are in store.

I just don't know what they are yet.

Grumpy McGrumperson

2007-02-06T14:02:00.000-05:00

I can't write. I've stared at this blank space for almost a half an hour trying to come up with a good start and have come up with nothing. I hate my writing. I read it and its so awful it makes me gag. I'm not speaking specifically about my blog, just of my writing in general. I hate it. I really do. I find it trite, cliche, and above all else, extremly superficial. And not in a good Andy Warhol, Jasper Johns "clever" superficiality sort of way - just devoid of meaning or real interesting content (which you might feel about Warhol and Johns to begin with, but still, you get my point).

The whole kit and kaboodle, it really sickens me that I could have once thought it any good. The by product of this distaste with my work (which creeps up every six months or so) is utter self-loathing that I've wasted so much of my time on this garbage. And it isn't just any self-loathing, it's the worst kind: the pitying, self-indulgent, needy, annoying, self-loathing.

Anyway, it's all garbage, and I can't get anything out right. Even now, as I type I want to go back and rewrite this post, only I know that it won't be any better, no matter how hard I try.

So boo this, I'm done until I'm not.

Stinktastic

2007-02-02T15:34:00.000-05:00

I am the epitome of lame. I've been home for four days after visiting Syracuse (which was freaking freezing) and I just now started doing my laundry. Why the wait, you may ask. Was it laziness (well, yes... but that's not the answer I'm really going for right now so I'm gonna say:)? No. Was it because my clothes smelled like J_ after absorbing the general smell from being in her room for five days, and I didn't want to wash it off? Yes.

I'm so freaking lame I hate myself right now.

Carry on then, nothing more to see here... not even any dignity.

Because you all really care what I think about trivial stuff (aka really lame post)

2007-01-23T17:06:00.000-05:00

So maybe you don't really care what I think about trivial stuff. I don't know, but I haven't written in a while, and as I still have little to write about - by this of course I mean I have little I feel motivated about which to write - I shall now, in order to make this sentance ridiculously long, give you my thoughts on stuff; Hooray Stuff!

It's J_'s birthday on Thursday and I'm am bussing up to see her. I'm actually pretty excited about this, but at the same time a bit nervous as I have yet to buy her a birthday present (J_ if you are reading this, which I know you do sometimes, this is a lie, and I totally already bought a gift that I put a lot of forsight into, and you can skip to the next paragraph). I was gonna get her a Hamsa Necklace from here but the only ones I really liked (and can afford) are yellow gold and J_ doesn't really like yellow gold - and I also decided I didn't really want to go with Jewlery, so now I don't know and am running out of time.

I'm thinking of getting new glasses.

I don't like non-dairy cheese. Philisophically I have nothing against it, I just don't like it.

My script on Triggerstreet has been nominated to be script of the month of Janurary. There are two other scripts in the running. I'd like to be proud of this, but really I've read past scripts that have won and let me tell you, it's not such an honor. It's fun to say, but ultimately meaningless. It doesn't so much tell me that I'm good, just that I don't suck as much as everyone else on the site - which I guess is something.

And there you go, a post for the sake of posting. Hopefully next time I'll have something interesting to write about.

Villany is wrong

2007-01-10T10:26:00.000-05:00

I urge everyone in this great nation of ours (well, the world too I guess, but really I'm currently just concerned with the US of A at the moment) to stop doing evil. To stop comitting crimes.

The simple reason, it's not because of any moral, ethical, or religious imperitive; or even for some altruistic, "let's make this world a better place" nonsense. That's a suckers game. Simply put: I hate jury duty. And for my sake, so I never have to sit through another ridiculously long and boring day down at the court building, stop comitting crimes and getting into accidents. People out there who do bad deeds, get into car accidents, sue because you spilled coffee on yourselves, whatever, I really don't care what it is specifically, just stop doing it!

I've had jury duty before in Massachusetts, but apparenly in New York being called to Jury duty means you become five years old once again. Not only are the same things explained over and over again, in a tremendously condescending tone - nearly ad nauseum - explaining what we are supposed to do, why jury duty is important, how we should do what we should do, when to eat, when to go to the bathroom, where to go, and what we are supposed to do when we get there - but it seems that mentally the potential jurors regress to a five year old mentality. Not only do they ask a continuous stream of the same questions over and over about the dumbed down instructions ("go to room 384". "raise your hand if I call your name", "Don't raise your hand if I call someone else's name", "Jury duty is important for freedom/justice/the american way") but they whine constantly. Oh my god the whining. Suck it up people. If you have to be there, try not to make it umbearable for everyone else.

I'm a noid

2007-01-03T10:47:00.000-05:00

This is just a quick angry post. I got in trouble at work today because I did exaclty what my boss asked me to do. It was the wenesday before the office closed for break (the 20th). My boss called as I was walking out the door. I didn't even have to answer the phone, but being the dutiful employee I am, I did. She (having left for vacation already, calling me from CA on her way to Mexico) asked me to send a book to a reader. So quickly I called some readers, found the first one available, and then, ran the book in an envelope to the office mail center for it to be mailed out - just as she requested me to do. I asked how to send it, she said mail it. So I did. I followed the instructions to the letter.

Now the book never arrived on time, and the reader went away for the holiday. Because she asked me to send the book and not a copy of the book as per usual, we don't have the coverage we want, nor do we have the book to send to someone else. So I got the talk about why I mailed it instead of messengered it over, why I didn't find someone else, and so forth, when all I did was do exactly as she asked me too. So now I have to run around town, get the book from one place to another to get another reader, and look stupid to everyone involved - for something that isn't my fault at all.

when it's my fault I can deal with it because lord knows I screw up sometimes (and when I do I admit it). This time though, it wasn't my fault and yet I get the blame anyway.

Life is annoying.

On a plus note, I can't wait until this weekend when I finally get to take a vacation. Albiet only three days in a row, but that's two more days in a row than I've had since I can't remember when. Me and my sweetie in a B&B in Providence, RI. It should be sweet.

now wii're cooking!

2006-12-29T14:00:00.000-05:00

Last night at work I came up with the next really big game for the Nintendo Wii. If this game ever comes out I want you all to say that I came up with it first - even if no one asks about it. You should just go up to strangers and say that this guy Amichai came up with this idea (blank amount of time) ago. And when they say "Who are you and why are you in my house?" You should reply, "Yeah, I know, it's totally awsome! Pass broccoli please." That last bit is for your health, because I don't think any of you are eating enough greens. You'll thank me later.

What is this big hit, I know you're wondering? Iron Chef the video game. Using the motion sensitive Wii controler you must chop, stir, season, bake, drizzle, dice, fry and blend your way to the perfect meal in under one hour. It's a cooking lesson (as all recipe options one uses in the game can be done in real life) and a competitive video game all in one. Play against the computer, against a freind, against a stranger online. Whose cuisine will reign supreme?

It's the next level of gaming for kids and adults of all ages who aren't interested in traditional video games.

Only problem is I don't think it'll be compatible with Nonny's gaming vest.

Blogs, apparently, are not worthless (wow)

2006-12-20T17:03:00.000-05:00

Ask and ye shall receive.

A little while ago I posted this.

My pal Charlie who reads this blog occasionally (unbeknownst to me until very recently) went out - by which I mean followed my link - and actually got me the t-shirt. So Charlie Rocks!

Charlie rocks anyway, she's just rocking harder right now. If any body else wants to rock as hard as Charlie, I'd be happy to inform you of the other things I want that you can purchase for me from the comfort of your own computer.

Next on my list, I realize after reading many comments that I unintentionally mislead many of you in my last post. I was confused at first when I read the comments, then, upon re-reading my post, I realized the problem. The previous post was not actually a dream I had. I was bored at work and was playing around and wrote that as a little prose poem, or dialogue for something yet to be written, or a prelude to a short story also yet to be written, or I don't know why, I was just bored. The beginning of "I had a dream..." was a mistake (as it works for the fiction of the poem/dialogue/prelude to a short story, just not the regular accounting of my life via this blog).

Though based on some of the comments, I don't know this makes me less weird now you know it's not actually a dream I had, or more weird as this is the sort of stuff I think about on my own, fully conscious.

And finally, I have become addicted to the game Snood. I can't stop playing it. I should be doing all sorts of other work, but instead I am playing snood. If you don't know snood, I recommend not finding out because it's insanely addictive. And if you know snood, then you know my problem.

Glad I straightened out the record. Readers (all five of you out there) be good to your neighbors, you never know who is secretly a psycho-killer bent on revenge for the horrid injustice of the world. Or, as a wiser man than me once said "Love your neighbors as you love yourselves, just choose your neighborhood carefully."

Sweets before bed

2006-12-13T23:41:00.000-05:00

I had a dream where I was the king of all marshmallows, only there was an attempted violent coup d'etat with military backing from the neighboring ocean of swedish fish. This of course led to war. I fought them as hard as I could with my army of gumdrop armed marshmallow men and women (as all my dreams exist in a perfect egalitarian world). The battlefield was strewn with the dismembered remains of gummy and marshmallowy guts. Sweet syrupy sugar blood carmilized the killing grounds tan.

In the end we were conquered by the swedes and I was forced to abdicate my licorice throne. They kept trying to put me to death, but my flesh and bone body was far too strong for their toffee gullitine.

Instead they decided to drown me in a tank of butterscotch, where the gooey liquid would congeal around me like amber over a fly, and I'd be put on display as the only man ever to rule over candy - their once and future king.

A Cat-tastrophy

2006-12-11T11:40:00.000-05:00

I don't know if there is an equivelent of "Cat Lady" for guys, but I have a strong feeling/fear that if there is I will be said "Cat Guy" (which shouldn't be confused with the lame Batman villan Cat-man - a not quite third rate knock-off of Catwoman - though Gail Simone has done some great things actually making him an interesting character, but I digress).

I was walking home from my father's synogogue on Friday night and this kitten, an adorable sivler colored kitten, starts following me home. It was dying for attention and I would have guessed it to be someone's pet - being that it was so comfortable with people. Only it didn't have a collar so it was a stray (or at least a house cat that accidently escaped and now didn't know what to do). I really, really (I can't stress this enough) wanted to take the cat home and adopt it, because it was so cute and needy and cute. Only I my folks already have two cats and there isn't room for any more (well there is, but they don't want another one).

Which makes me scared for when I have a place of my own again ( I miss having my own place) that I'll adopt stray cats left and right. And I know I will too. I'm going to grow up and be the scary guy on the block with hundreds of cats going to and fro through my house/apartment/shack/tent/cardboard box. It's scary, but I know it's gonna happen.

Also, the era of internet tests has yet to come to a close. Behold, a test to determine my political beliefs:

You scored as Democrat. <'Imunimaginative's Deviantart Page'>

Democrat

92%

Green

83%

Anarchism

67%

Socialist

50%

Communism

50%

Republican

Nazi

Fascism

What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In?
created with QuizFarm.com

This is actually the second time I took it. The first time it said I was 8% nazi, which didn't make my sense to me at all. I may be many things (actually I am many things) but Nazi is definitely not one of them.

I think it's because I answered I was a little racist. Which is true. I think everyone is a little racist, or prejudiced or whatever you want to call it. It's human nature to be suspicious of people who are different. I'm not saying everyone is a (instert skin color, race, religion ect. here) supremicist, just that everyone has a natural inclination towards homogeny. It's why you get neighborhoods like Little Italy, or Chinatown, or The Lower East side (at least back in the early 20th century when it was mostly Jewish) in New York. And there isn't anything wrong with that. As long as you don't let it control you, you'll be fine. But to claim outright that there isn't prejudiced bone in your body is just lying to yourself.

Ok, rant over.

And I still insist I'm not even the slightest bit a nazi.

(also, I don't get the whole 67% anarchist, but I'm not gonna get into it. It's really a stupid test, but as devoted readers know, I love 'em).

Happiness = breakdancing robots

2006-12-07T17:23:00.000-05:00

Really, when you boil it down what can possibly be better than Breakdancing Transformers?

Could it possibly be Monkey punching dinosaurs? What about cats that look like hitler? Are either of those better?

I don't know, it's really hard to top Breakdancing Transformers.

But if anything can it's gotta be this hideous, evil, yet hilarious, and very wrong Blog.

Thanks to Merc, and Dorothy for having these links on their pages for me to steal.

Brain drippings

2006-11-30T16:32:00.000-05:00

It's official, I want to add this t-shirt to the list of things I want:

I mean come on, how cool is this? Take that you emo bastards!

Also, I have some a website for you kiddos to check out and love (if you don't already).

Overheard in New York Sometimes I can't believe the things that happen in this city, and sometimes I get nervous I'll wind up on this site.

And now I shall leave with with the religious thought of the day. As the Lord once said: "Be Fruitfull and multiply." Alright you heathens, you heard the Lord, go out there and get your groove on, it's a religious imperitive.

I think I might be running out of things to say

2006-11-27T11:11:00.000-05:00

I'm hoping this one is pretty self-explanatory.

Have A Happy Thanksgiving

2006-11-22T10:19:00.000-05:00

Or for any international readers:

Have A Happy Thursday.

Just because (or, it's late, I'm bored, and I don't want to go to sleep yet)

2006-11-12T00:10:00.000-05:00

So I was really bored at work this past week and my work buddy at Tribeca (my fellow intern) said I should create a Myspace page. I think Myspace is utterly ridiculous and very, very inane. But, I was bored, and she was insistent, mostly because she too was bored and wanted something to read (assuming I'd come up with something clever for my Myspace page). So now I have a myspace page. It's really lame, and I don't plan on really doing anything with it. I'm just keeping it until said buddy/fellow intern gets bored with it and then I'll take it down. I only mention this out of a interest of full disclosure, so no one thinks I'm hiding anything, I’m letting you know of my newest secret embarrassment (yes I am embarrassed, I now - albeit temporarily - have become a myspace person. Grahh!).

Luckily however, I shall not be alone in my embarrassment. Below you'll find a video of the aforementioned co-worker. As you'll notice she has a strange obsession with one of the dances from an older iPod commercial. This is actually her (I took it from her Myspace page) not some random video I found, so keep your minds out of the gutter. Don't worry though, she wears more at work.

Final note: J_ recently said that she thinks I should stop blogging about my daily adventures and devote this blog to essays/articles about pop culture and such (probably reviews of movies/comics/tv/ ect. As well). I don’t' think I really have the background to do this competently, and I said I probably wouldn't do that. Only the more I think about it, the more I wonder. I wonder how it would affect the few readers that I have if I did in fact change this blog? Would it be a change you'd all appreciate or something you'd rather not read? I can't say that I'd change my mind based on any of your thoughts, as J_ does have the most sway, I'm just curious what you all think.

All right, carry on then....

Why I am super cool!!!!

2006-11-06T10:48:00.000-05:00

This weekend I...

Saw Borat in the theater (matinee showing).

Watched all six episodes of FLCL on DVD.

Watched Chumscruber on HBO.

Rented then watched Inside Man.

Rented and played God of War. (more hours this weekend spent playing this game then sleeping)

Read all four collections of Grant Morrison's run on the comic series Doom Patrol (can't find a good link to explain what this is).

And save seeing Borat I did this all by myself, alone, never actually leaving my couch save for food, bathroom and sleep.

I'm the coolest!!!!

Do you ever...

2006-10-31T10:54:00.000-05:00

...Compose your blog entry in your head during the day while whatever you want to blog about is still happening, then forget it when you get home and get angry even though it's only a silly blog?

...Leave a single cookie left in the cookie jar/package/dish/ect. because you don't want to be the one to throw away or clean up said jar/package/dish/ect.?

...Pretend you don't have change when a homeless person asks you for change, because you think you might actually need or deserve those fifty-three cents more than the person with no home?

...Have gay sex dreams (or if you're gay, have straight sex dreams) and even though you aren't gay (or straight) you still find yourself aroused upon waking?

...Walk into doorposts and glass windows because you just aren't paying attention?

...Feel the urge to stand up in the middle of a street with a big sign that says "JESUS SAVES: BUT ONLY WHEN HE OPENS AN ACCOUNT AT CHASE MANHATTAN BANK."?

...Feel bad that you can name Disney's seven dwarfs*, but have no idea who the Mercury Seven are** (let alone being able to name all seven of them***)?

...Wonder why we learn all about Neil Armstrong****, but are never taught about Yuri Gagarin*****?

...Wear underwear that is clearly dirty, just because you are too lazy to do your laundry?

...Sing the wrong lyrics to a song, then try and play it off like you did that on purpose?

Yeah, I don't do those things either.

*Sleepy, Dopey, Sneezy, Happy, Grumpy, Bashful, and Doc
**The first seven American Men in Space (they went up in the Mercury Missions)
***M. Scott Carpenter, L. Gordon Cooper, John Glenn Jr., Virgil "Gus" Grissom, Walter Schirra, Alan Shepard, Donald "Deke" Slayton
****First man on the Moon
*****First man in space (he was Russian, which is why he's left out of American text books)

Eye candy

2006-10-23T11:13:00.000-04:00

I was going to post this on my site, because I thought it was Awesome (with a capitol A), but I figured it'd be best if I directed you to Amber's blog because with or without this video, her site is very much worth reading.

Anyway, if you want to see the best would be Snickers commercial ever (and you really really do) click the Snickers.

Trust me. It's Snickertastic.